Grandboy: O man why my pizza keep falling off my plate?
\nMe: Because you keep dropping it.
\nGrandboy: That means I need a bigger plate.
\nMe: Nice try, boy. Just be more careful \ud83d\ude42
\nGrandboy (making a face, sticks out his tongue): Uh there’s pizza in my hair.
\nMe: How’d you get pizza in your hair?
\nGrandboy: NO I MEAN HAIR IN MY PIZZA
\nMe: So you’re having a hard time aren’t you?
\nGrandboy: I shouldn’t eat things off the floor.
\n—-
\nAnd so lessons are learned<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: O man why my pizza keep falling off my plate? Me: Because you keep dropping it. Grandboy: That…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-g0","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1155,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/08\/18\/pizza-hugs\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":0},"title":"Pizza hugs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Gwumpa, can you get me some pizza? Me: No, boy, you're big enough. Take a break and go get your own piece of pizza\u00a0 Grandboy: Awwww PLEEEEASE Me: Nope. Go get it. ... Grandboy: Gwumpa can you get (looks at my raised eyebrow)... me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1443,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/07\/14\/teaching-the-boy-to-fish-cut-pizza-actually\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":1},"title":"Teaching the boy to fish. Cut pizza, actually","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: O wow that's tricky. Me: That's ok, keep trying. Grandboy: Ummm I don't think it's supposed to roll up like that (uses fingers to push it back down) Me: Try pressing harder as you push the blade Grandboy: It's not sharp (rolls blade on his arm) Me: That's ok.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1051,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/02\/04\/my-friend-brandy\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":2},"title":"My friend Brandy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (carefully arranges pizza slices and brownies on a plate) Me: ... Grandboy (presents the plate to me, and speaks in his best Butler voice): Hullo, suh... Care for some pizza and a whiff of brandy, my good suh? Me: Indubitably","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":925,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/03\/12\/pizza-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":3},"title":"Pizza me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 12, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy\u200b: Can I have pizza? Me: A piece of? A piece of what? Grandboy (waves his arms menacingly): A piece of ME --- Oy he's going to be a punny little handful","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1185,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/15\/little-squishy\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":4},"title":"Little squishy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (feeling the back of my arm, near the elbow): What happened, grandpa? Your arm used to be so hard. Now it's soft and kind of squishy. Me: Ah that's because of all the pizza. Grandboy: Oh. Me: So I guess that means no more pizza when you come visit,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1426,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/youre-fired\/","url_meta":{"origin":992,"position":5},"title":"You’re fired","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: The word, \"fire\" is an odd word. Grandboy: Why is that, grandpa? Me: Well, \"fire\" can burn something, and you can \"fire\" a weapon, and a boss can \"fire\" a person. Same word but they have different meanings. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: No, they come from the same thing. 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