Grandboy (pretending to carry a briefcase): Bye mom, I’m going to work now.<\/p>\n
Mamasan: Bye! Bring home the bacon.<\/p>\n
Grandboy (confused): No mom, I’m not going to the STORE. I’m going to WORK.<\/p>\n
Mamasan: O that’s what you say when someone goes to work. “Bring home the bacon”.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: OOH I get it. I make money, buy the bacon and bring it home.<\/p>\n
Mamasan: Yep.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: And YOU cook it for me.<\/p>\n
Mamasan: WHAT.<\/p>\n
Mamasan (to me): Did YOU teach him that?<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
Hey I’m the one who taught him not to poke in a lady’s purse. I ain’t gonna be teaching him something as dangerous as THAT, knowing his momma…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (pretending to carry a briefcase): Bye mom, I’m going to work now. Mamasan: Bye! Bring home the bacon.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-ej","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":699,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/23\/mama-mom-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":0},"title":"MAMA. MOM. MA. MA MA MA MA","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (coming in from the other room): ..ma! Mama. Mom. Mama! MAMA Mamasan: Yes? Grandboy: Mom. Ma. Mama. MAAA Mamasan: Yes, what? Grandboy: MAMA Mamasan: WHAT do you WANT?!? Grandboy: I can have some water? Mamasan: Ye.. Grandboy: Or some... chocolate milk? (Blink blink) (the blinky effect made more effective\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":950,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/17\/quit-stairing-at-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":1},"title":"Quit stairing at me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Mama, do you know why these (points) are called 'stairs'? Mamasan: No, why? Grandboy: Because you STAIR at them Mamasan: ... Grandboy: Haha Mamasan: ... Grandboy: :D Mamasan: WHERE do you get these from? Grandboy: Gwumpa Yay! My legacy shall live on","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":942,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/04\/27\/enough\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":2},"title":"ENOUGH","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (trying to hold a phone conversation) Grandboy (won't stop making noise) Mamasan (frustrated): ENOUGH! Grandboy: Hi, yes? Mamasan (to the person on the phone): Hold on. (To grandboy): What is it? Grandboy: I am Enough. Nice to meet you. I'm Enough. You said Enough, so here is Enough (puts\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":885,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/23\/lessons-in-lost-vegas\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":3},"title":"Lessons in Lost Vegas","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we're lost. The phone's dead. The car phone charger isn't working. I don't recognise this part of town. I have to pee. Grandboy: Ok I'll behave. (they drive, continue to get lost, and start talking about what it would be like to spend the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":975,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/08\/30\/board-of-games\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":4},"title":"Board of Games","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (at the store): Hey I'm picking out the game we'll buy.\u00a0 I don't want you to be bored. Grandboy (smirks): I gettttttt it. Mamasan: Huh? Grandboy: You don't want me to be BORED of the BOARD game.\u00a0 Ha!\u00a0 Good one ma. Mamasan: Hmph.\u00a0 This is because of your grandpa,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":898,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/11\/st-george\/","url_meta":{"origin":887,"position":5},"title":"St George","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 11, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (with his walking stick in hand, and the stick trailing behind him: Hmm hm hmm hmm hmmmmm Mamasan: Hey you'd better get your stick off the ground Grandboy: Mom it's not a stick, it's a DRAGON (Winks to me) Mamasan: What? O. A dragging stick. It's a-draggin. A dragon.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/2017-11-2-15-46-07.jpeg?fit=677%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/2017-11-2-15-46-07.jpeg?fit=677%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/2017-11-2-15-46-07.jpeg?fit=677%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=887"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":888,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions\/888"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}