{"id":885,"date":"2016-11-23T19:10:54","date_gmt":"2016-11-24T01:10:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=885"},"modified":"2017-01-24T19:37:18","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T01:37:18","slug":"lessons-in-lost-vegas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/23\/lessons-in-lost-vegas\/","title":{"rendered":"Lessons in Lost Vegas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we&#8217;re lost. The phone&#8217;s dead. The car phone charger isn&#8217;t working. I don&#8217;t recognise this part of town. I have to pee.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Ok I&#8217;ll behave. (they drive, continue to get lost, and start talking about what it would be like to spend the night sleeping in the car)<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: O! have an idea.<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: What is it?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Let&#8217;s PRAY. We&#8217;ll pray for God to help us get home.<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: Ok<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Dear GOD, help us. We just want to go home. Momma&#8217;s tired and she has to pee. I don&#8217;t want to sleep in the car tonight. Amen (they drive over a hill)<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: What.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: What IS it momma?<\/p>\n<p>Manasan I recognise this street. There. See? I KNOW THIS PLACE!<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Yay! We can pee now!<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: Not yet, but we&#8217;re almost home.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s like that sometimes. We struggle, we get lost a little, we ask for help from a higher power. And sometimes, sometimes, the little miracles help us find our way back home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we&#8217;re lost. The phone&#8217;s dead. The car phone charger isn&#8217;t working. I don&#8217;t&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-eh","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":950,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/17\/quit-stairing-at-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":0},"title":"Quit stairing at me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Mama, do you know why these (points) are called 'stairs'? Mamasan: No, why? Grandboy: Because you STAIR at them Mamasan: ... Grandboy: Haha Mamasan: ... Grandboy: :D Mamasan: WHERE do you get these from? Grandboy: Gwumpa Yay! My legacy shall live on","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":942,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/04\/27\/enough\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":1},"title":"ENOUGH","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (trying to hold a phone conversation) Grandboy (won't stop making noise) Mamasan (frustrated): ENOUGH! Grandboy: Hi, yes? Mamasan (to the person on the phone): Hold on. (To grandboy): What is it? Grandboy: I am Enough. Nice to meet you. I'm Enough. You said Enough, so here is Enough (puts\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":699,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/23\/mama-mom-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":2},"title":"MAMA.  MOM.  MA.  MA MA MA MA","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (coming in from the other room): ..ma! Mama. Mom. Mama! MAMA Mamasan: Yes? Grandboy: Mom. Ma. Mama. MAAA Mamasan: Yes, what? Grandboy: MAMA Mamasan: WHAT do you WANT?!? Grandboy: I can have some water? Mamasan: Ye.. Grandboy: Or some... chocolate milk? (Blink blink) (the blinky effect made more effective\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":887,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/18\/bringin-home-the-bacon-woman\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":3},"title":"Bringin&#8217; home the bacon, woman","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (pretending to carry a briefcase): Bye mom, I'm going to work now. Mamasan: Bye! Bring home the bacon. Grandboy (confused): No mom, I'm not going to the STORE. I'm going to WORK. Mamasan: O that's what you say when someone goes to work. \"Bring home the bacon\". Grandboy: OOH\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":975,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/08\/30\/board-of-games\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":4},"title":"Board of Games","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (at the store): Hey I'm picking out the game we'll buy.\u00a0 I don't want you to be bored. Grandboy (smirks): I gettttttt it. Mamasan: Huh? Grandboy: You don't want me to be BORED of the BOARD game.\u00a0 Ha!\u00a0 Good one ma. Mamasan: Hmph.\u00a0 This is because of your grandpa,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":896,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/07\/little-hands-big-hearts\/","url_meta":{"origin":885,"position":5},"title":"Little hands, big hearts","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Momma what does that man's sign say? Mamasan: It says he's hungry and he's looking for money for food :( Grandboy: (silent) Mamasan: (wondering what's happening, looks back) Grandboy: (window rolled down, shouting): Here! Here! You can have my sandwich! Homeless man (looking down at the outstretched hand welding\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=885"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":886,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885\/revisions\/886"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}