Me: Hey boy, come pick up these Legos.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: UUUGH gwumpa I’m going to play with them LATERRRrrrrr…<\/p>\n
Me: I almost stepped on one NOW. Please come pick them up.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Ok fine i pick them up. (starts cleaning) You know, you should be CAREFUL when you walk, or you gonna [exclaims] AAAAGH i STEPPED on a LEGO<\/p>\n
Dog: …<\/p>\n
Grandboy Stop laughing, Elvis. Not funny.<\/p>\n
—-<\/p>\n
It’s never to early to learn how to irony<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: Hey boy, come pick up these Legos. Grandboy: UUUGH gwumpa I’m going to play with them LATERRRrrrrr… Me:…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-dZ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":413,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/05\/03\/too-early-in-the-morning-for-behaviour-analysis\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":0},"title":"Too early in the morning for behaviour analysis","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The grandboy's taken the 'why\" question out into psychology realm now. Grandboy: \"GWUMPA gwumpa i'm thirsty gwumpa I'm thirsty. \u00a0May I have some water please?\" Me: \"Ok sure [I hold two cups out] which one would you like, the red cup or the blue cup?\" Grandboy: \"The RED one gwumpa,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":1},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":697,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/21\/what-is-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":2},"title":"What is ‘Life’?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ow I pinched myself with this thing. Me: O no. It looks ok, no blood. Did you learn something from that? Grandboy: I be careful. Me: Yep, sometimes you learn stuff when you get hurt. That's part of life. Grandboy: What is 'life'? Me: 'Life' is everything you're doing\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1259,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/15\/pretend-your-life-depends-on-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":3},"title":"Pretend your life depends on it","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy and I were playing the \"Pretend Your Life Depends On It\" game this weekend... Grandboy (weakly stretching forward): Grandpa. I can't reach that toy car. Can you get it for me? Me: Nope, you get it. Pretend your life depends on it and you're by yourself. ... Grandboy (straining):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":549,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/10\/on-accident-on-purpose\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":4},"title":"On accident? On purpose.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Awwww gwumpa i dropped my bowl of cereal on accident. [blink blink smile blink] Me: Hm. Ok. Now you can start picking it up on purpose. You dropped it, now you pick it up. Grandboy: But gwuummmmpa it my hands they can't behave and they dropped it [blink blink]\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/15702982532_1df1377599_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/15702982532_1df1377599_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/15702982532_1df1377599_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/15702982532_1df1377599_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C682&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":867,"position":5},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. 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