{"id":865,"date":"2017-01-20T20:18:58","date_gmt":"2017-01-21T02:18:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=865"},"modified":"2017-01-24T19:21:24","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T01:21:24","slug":"darkning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/20\/darkning\/","title":{"rendered":"Darkning"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: Gwumpa look, it&#8217;s lightning there<\/p>\n<p>Me: Yep. What about the darkning?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: The darkning? What&#8217;s the darkning?<\/p>\n<p>Me: The opposite of lightning. It takes light out of the sky and removes noise from the air.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: What?! That&#8217;s only make believe.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Yes. I&#8217;ve never seen darkning.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: You know what ELSE I never seen? A WHIRLPOOL. A GIANT WHIRLPOOL.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Well, then maybe it&#8217;s make believe.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: No, no gwumpa that&#8217;s REAL. I saw it on Minecraft.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: Gwumpa look, it&#8217;s lightning there Me: Yep. What about the darkning? Grandboy: The darkning? What&#8217;s the darkning? Me:&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s62ahB-darkning","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/19\/its-nighttime\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":0},"title":"It&#8217;s NIGHTTIME","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin'? Me: Resting my head in the table. Grandboy: Why? Me: I'm just a little tired, that's all Grandboy (sounding like his mamasan): GWUMPA you need to REST. Your body needs REST. Go back to bed. Me: ... Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa, I can't believe I'm saying\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":1},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1002,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/13\/captain-kirk-would-be-proud-of-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":2},"title":"Captain Kirk would be proud of me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: You'd never lie, would you, gwumpa? Me: What if I told you I ALWAYS lied? Would you believe me then? Grandboy: Of course I would! Me: But then you'd have to believe I'm lying. Grandboy: ...yea... (wheels start moving) Me: But if I always lied, you couldn't believe what\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":3},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":4},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/monkeys-and-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":865,"position":5},"title":"Monkeys and cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Those people, they, they all driving cars. Me: Yep, they are all driving cars. Grandboy: Why they driving cars? Me:\u00a0 Dunno.\u00a0 Maybe they are getting food or going to work or seeing friends. Grandboy: Monkeys don't drive cars. Me: Nope.\u00a0 Monkeys don't drive cars.\u00a0 Why not? Grandboy: Cuz they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=865"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":866,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions\/866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}