Grandboy: Gwumpa hey I like your ‘vention. Does it shoot lasers? Like a BLUE laser or a RED laser?<\/p>\n
Me: Nope, no lasers.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: How ’bout bullets?<\/p>\n
Me: Nope, it doesn’t shoot bullets.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Well then what DOES it shoot?<\/p>\n
Me: Rabbits and squirrels and deer. Maybe bears if they come round. Bullets are too small and too fast to hit when they are moving.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Really, gwumpa, REALLY? You gonna tell me that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: Gwumpa hey I like your ‘vention. Does it shoot lasers? Like a BLUE laser or a RED laser?…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s62ahB-shoot","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":0},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1424,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/ice-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":1},"title":"Ice cream?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Can I have some ice cream? Me: Nope. Can't have ice cream for breakfast. Grandboy: Awwwww. Please? Me: Nope. Grandboy: But when? Me: After lunch. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: Can we have some lunch now?","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":852,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/26\/hug-every-moment\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":2},"title":"Hug every moment","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, you're not going to die for a looooong time, right, gwumpa? Me: I don't know that. Grandboy: What? You don't know you'll live a long time? Me: Nope. I might live a looooong time, I might live a short time. I might die this afternoon. You never know\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":948,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/13\/a-couple-of-honkeys\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":3},"title":"A couple of honkeys","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (honking a bicycle horn repeatedly in the house): GWUMPA STOP (HONK) ME I CAN'T STOP (HONK) HONKING THIS (HONK) HORN!!! Me: You can stop yourself. Grandboy: NO I (HONK) CAN'T YOU HAVE (HONK) TO STOP ME Me: Nope. You have to figure it out on your own. Someday I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/monkeys-and-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":4},"title":"Monkeys and cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Those people, they, they all driving cars. Me: Yep, they are all driving cars. Grandboy: Why they driving cars? Me:\u00a0 Dunno.\u00a0 Maybe they are getting food or going to work or seeing friends. Grandboy: Monkeys don't drive cars. Me: Nope.\u00a0 Monkeys don't drive cars.\u00a0 Why not? Grandboy: Cuz they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1155,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/08\/18\/pizza-hugs\/","url_meta":{"origin":858,"position":5},"title":"Pizza hugs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Gwumpa, can you get me some pizza? Me: No, boy, you're big enough. Take a break and go get your own piece of pizza\u00a0 Grandboy: Awwww PLEEEEASE Me: Nope. Go get it. ... Grandboy: Gwumpa can you get (looks at my raised eyebrow)... me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=858"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":859,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/858\/revisions\/859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}