Me: …so what about Sharknados?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: GWUMPA you making me think about stuff that’s NOT REAL!<\/p>\n
Me: O like Santa Claus?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: You ruining it for me Gwumpa. I know he’s not real but I pretend he’s real. Not like sharknados.<\/p>\n
Me: Maybe Santa rides on sharknados<\/p>\n
Grandboy: [the LOOK]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: …so what about Sharknados? Grandboy: GWUMPA you making me think about stuff that’s NOT REAL! Me: O like…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-dM","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1432,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/santa-claaaawwwsss\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":0},"title":"Santa CLAAAAWWWSSS","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ...and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When he's done there's nothing left. Me: Claus? Isn't he the guy who gives presents to good kids? Grandboy: O no grandpa, that's SANTA Claus. He's a different guy. Me: Maybe he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":687,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/that-sneaky-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":1},"title":"That sneaky Claus","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Your room is a mess. Grandboy: Yes. Why my room is a mess? Me: You brought stuff in here and left it laying about. Grandboy: Not me! Maybe a (makes scared face) CREEEATURE sneaked in here and left stuff. Me: O I know. It was Santa Claus. He's always\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1181,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/04\/time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":2},"title":"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Hey why the shouting? Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa. (The \"mosquito\" from earlier was actually a fly) Me: He's not hurting you, leave him be. Grandboy: Nooooo he's bothering me. Me: Is he bugging you? Grandboy (looks sideways at me) Me: He's BUGGING you.\u00a0 Grandboy (no change\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":959,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/24\/pokemon-gone\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":3},"title":"Pokemon Gone","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: (Looking at a toy on a game he's playing) Hey that's a Pokemon. Me: A POKEMON?!?! How do you know what a Pokemon is? Grandboy: Gwumpa. I know what a Pokemon is. I've seen Pokemon Go. Me: Oh. Where did they go? Grandboy: (shrugs his shoulders) Everywhere. Like a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1083,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/05\/mega-stomp-panic\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":4},"title":"Mega Stomp Panic","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa that's cool. I wanna try. Me: Ok, wait a minute. Grandboy: Hey that's like a giant robot. I wanna try, Gwumpa Me: Watch what happens when I JUMP Grandboy: AAAUGH that's COOL GWUMPA I WANNA TRY PLEASE --- Thanks Thinkgeek.com. Now he will get exercise for hours, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/osi5EKRC0Eg\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":854,"position":5},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=854"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":855,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions\/855"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}