Grandboy (with silent stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully leaps onto the sleeping form of his gwumpa in the morning): …<\/p>\n
Me (with equally stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully flips the oncoming bundle of unknown off onto the floor): …<\/p>\n
Grandboy stops pretending to be a ninja so he can pretend to be a police siren for a spell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (with silent stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully leaps onto the sleeping form of his gwumpa in the morning):…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-dI","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":990,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/24\/hug-a-fish-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":0},"title":"Hug a fish today","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (at a koi fish pond slowly waving his arms): Come on, everybody! Gather round, gather round... Mamasan (emulating him): Hey they aren't coming to me. Grandboy (stopping and backing away): That's because they know I'm the Pokemon trainer. Try now. Mamasan: Still no. They're even hiding now. Grandboy: You\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":723,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/03\/11\/i-dont-know\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":1},"title":"I don’t know","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, what is that (on video game)? Me (looking up): O i don't know. Grandboy (frustrated, moves the character about): Grumpa, what is THAT? (points to the same thing) Me: I don't know. Grandboy: Huh? What do you mean, \"I don't know\"? Me: Means I don't know... Grandboy: Why\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":2},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1004,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/18\/driving-at-a-snails-pace\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":3},"title":"Driving at a snail’s pace","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there's a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks back): Ayep, sure is. Grandboy: He sure likes it back there. Me (driving): Ayep. Grandboy: Because you're a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around. Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1488,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/12\/23\/nightmares\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":4},"title":"Nightmares","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 23, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa I had a really bad nightmare last night Me (preparing for a tale of zombies and monsters): O no. Would you like to talk about it? Grandboy: Yah. I dreamt I logged onto my game and all the high level people I worked so hard for had vanished.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":850,"position":5},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=850"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":851,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850\/revisions\/851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}