[I walk into the room, where mamasan is making dramatic, slow-motion sweeping movements as she walks towards the kitchen table]<\/p>\n
Me (thinking): Sure, why not?<\/em> [I start moving in slow motion with overly-exaggerated movements]<\/p>\n Grandboy: Gwumpa we’re SLOTHS! We all SLOTHS in HERE<\/p>\n Me (speaking in low, drawn-out speech): OOOOkayyyy O nooooo I’mmmm falllll [pretends to fall in slow motion]<\/p>\n Calvin and Hobbes never had it so good<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [I walk into the room, where mamasan is making dramatic, slow-motion sweeping movements as she walks towards the kitchen…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-808","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-d2","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":171,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2013\/02\/24\/everythings-in-motion-all-of-the-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":808,"position":0},"title":"Everything’s in motion all of the time","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 24, 2013","format":"image","excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/285629_10151271162321249_1557945599_n1.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/285629_10151271162321249_1557945599_n1.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/285629_10151271162321249_1557945599_n1.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/285629_10151271162321249_1557945599_n1.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":226,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2013\/02\/24\/slow-children-are-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":808,"position":1},"title":"Slow children are ok","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 24, 2013","format":"image","excerpt":"Slow children are ok. It's not the slow children that worry me; it's the small, quick ones that are likely to pop out from behind a parked car as I drive that worry me","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?fit=666%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?fit=666%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?fit=666%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":990,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/24\/hug-a-fish-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":808,"position":2},"title":"Hug a fish today","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (at a koi fish pond slowly waving his arms): Come on, everybody! Gather round, gather round... Mamasan (emulating him): Hey they aren't coming to me. Grandboy (stopping and backing away): That's because they know I'm the Pokemon trainer. Try now. Mamasan: Still no. They're even hiding now. Grandboy: You\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=808"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/808\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":809,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/808\/revisions\/809"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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