Me: Hey where’s my hug? I didn’t get one<\/p>\n
Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in you I’ll be weak if they come over and I can’t fight when the bad guys come in the house.<\/p>\n
Me: Yep you’re right, I’m still weak<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Mama got strong soldiers she protect us when you get weak.<\/p>\n
Castle Doctrine student in training here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: Hey where’s my hug? I didn’t get one Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-cW","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1523,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/03\/13\/saved-by-the-firebell\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":0},"title":"Saved by the firebell","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 13, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"We are enjoying the bonfire.\u00a0 The grandboy comes walking over with a smoldering piece of wood. Grandboy: Grandpa, we're both lucky. Me: Oh yah? Why is that? Grandboy (with a look of suspicion on his face): Well, this is the SECOND time I've rescued my hammer and battle rifle from\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1257,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/13\/from-the-good-guys-lair\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":1},"title":"From the good guys’ lair","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 13, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ... and then the bad guy comes out of his lair and attacks the people. Me: And the good guys? Grandboy: They come out of THEIR place... Me: Their lair? Grandboy: YAH. The good guy lair. Me: I'm not sure good guys have lairs. Grandboy: OF COURSE THEY DO\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":894,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/27\/monster-mash\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":2},"title":"Monster Mash","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy got in trouble when he and another boy were punching each other in the cafeteria. The story, as relayed by mamasan: Other boy: Hey look, is that your mom over there? Grandboy: [looks \"over there\"] Other boy: [suckerpunch to the gut] Grandboy: [retaliatory strike] [punching continues for a bit,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1434,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/dont-get-me-started\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":3},"title":"Don’t get me started","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (explaining something he created on Minecraft): ...and this guy, he's a big one. That's because he's the LEADER of the team. And he's STRONG. Don't get me started on the leader... Me: O really? And why not? Grandboy: Well, it's because he... (continues for about 15 mins talking about\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":998,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/30\/diplomacy-taught\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":4},"title":"Diplomacy taught","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: I'm the king of this land Me: Ah I see. How do you treat your people? Grandboy: I am STRONG. If they don't do what I say I lock them UP. Maybe forever. And punish them. Me: That sounds like a bad king. I'll have to stop you if\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":5},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=802"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":803,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802\/revisions\/803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}