Grandboy (looking over my shoulder as I am on my smartphone):Gwumpa wat game you playin?<\/p>\n
Me: No game. Look.<\/p>\n
Grandboy (nodding sagely): OOOH that’s because you’re OLK and OLK people don’t do fun things. Only little KIDS play games on phones.<\/p>\n
Me (still reading): Yep, that’s how it works.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: And when I get OLK I will do BORING things too but right now I’m just a kid and I can (starts dancing and spinning)<\/p>\n
Me (watches him dance and bounce)<\/p>\n
Grandboy (eventually stopping, then looks over at my phone): Gwumpa wat game you playin?<\/p>\n
Shhhh… Short Attention Span Theatre in progress<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (looking over my shoulder as I am on my smartphone):Gwumpa wat game you playin? Me: No game. Look.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s62ahB-sast","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":0},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":723,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/03\/11\/i-dont-know\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":1},"title":"I don’t know","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, what is that (on video game)? Me (looking up): O i don't know. Grandboy (frustrated, moves the character about): Grumpa, what is THAT? (points to the same thing) Me: I don't know. Grandboy: Huh? What do you mean, \"I don't know\"? Me: Means I don't know... Grandboy: Why\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1155,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/08\/18\/pizza-hugs\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":2},"title":"Pizza hugs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Gwumpa, can you get me some pizza? Me: No, boy, you're big enough. Take a break and go get your own piece of pizza\u00a0 Grandboy: Awwww PLEEEEASE Me: Nope. Go get it. ... Grandboy: Gwumpa can you get (looks at my raised eyebrow)... me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":572,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/24\/lets-catch-a-case-of-the-happies\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":3},"title":"Let’s catch a case of the Happies","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (sad): Why you no play game with me? Me: Sorry, i don't want to play a game today. Grandboy: Why? Me: I'm in a bad mood. I'll play a little later. Grandboy (crosses arms, frowns): Hmph. I in a bad mood, too. Me: Why are you in a bad\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/2855812597_5005c93350_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C582&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/2855812597_5005c93350_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C582&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/2855812597_5005c93350_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C582&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/2855812597_5005c93350_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C582&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":758,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/03\/no-thanks-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":4},"title":"No thanks, Gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me Me: You have to keep trying to learn how to get past this area. Jumping is as important as fighting. Grandboy (falling again): AAAUGH hmmm Me: Here, let me try Grandboy: Yah! I can learn from\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":800,"position":5},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=800"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":831,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/800\/revisions\/831"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}