Grandboy (shouting excitedly): Gwumpa hey momma’s taking us to the NEWSEUM now!!!<\/p>\n
Me: Newseum?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Yah the NEWSEUM where they have dinosaur BONES and all the FOSSILS and all kinda old things<\/p>\n
Me: Well then why is it called a NEWseum if it has old things? Shouldn’t it be called an OLDseum instead?<\/p>\n
Grandboy (rolling his eyes): GWUMPA that’s just how it’s called, I dunno WHY it’s called like that<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (shouting excitedly): Gwumpa hey momma’s taking us to the NEWSEUM now!!! Me: Newseum? Grandboy: Yah the NEWSEUM where…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-796","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-cQ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":950,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/17\/quit-stairing-at-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":0},"title":"Quit stairing at me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Mama, do you know why these (points) are called 'stairs'? Mamasan: No, why? Grandboy: Because you STAIR at them Mamasan: ... Grandboy: Haha Mamasan: ... Grandboy: :D Mamasan: WHERE do you get these from? Grandboy: Gwumpa Yay! My legacy shall live on","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":804,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/08\/25\/gwumpa-joke-dad-joke-every-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":1},"title":"Gwumpa joke > Dad joke, every time","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey you know why this (points to a picture) is called a dinosaur? Grandboy: Why Gwumpa? Me: 'Cuz they're dead. See? DIEnosaur. Grandboy: Yah! They DIEnosaurs Me: And if they were still alive they'd be LIVEasaurs Grandboy: NO STAAAP","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1061,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/04\/i-scream\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":2},"title":"I scream","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (eating ice cream in a cone): Yum. Me: Why is it called, 'Ice Cream'? Grandboy: Cuz it's cold. Like ice. And it's got CREAM. Me: So it should be called, 'Creamy Ice'. Grandboy: YAH Gwumpa I'll call it 'Creamy Ice' from now on. (pretends to be ordering food) Hello\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1173,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/10\/13\/ultraviolent-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":3},"title":"Ultraviolent Cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(music. music on truck speakers) Grandboy: Grandpa who's that singing that song? Me: It's a group called \"The Cars\". Grandboy: Are the called \"The Cars\" because the sing in cars? Me: No, that's just a name they liked, so they are called \"The Cars\". Grandboy: That's too bad. I like\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/Ki6xHnDAwHw\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1381,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/10\/fishing-not-catching\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":4},"title":"Fishing, not catching","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (casting a fishing line): Grandpa, I love fishing. Me: Yep. Grandboy (casting again): But I'm not catching anything. Me: Then it wouldn't be called \"fishing\". It would be called \"catching\".","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1169,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/10\/13\/six-thousand-evil-clowns\/","url_meta":{"origin":796,"position":5},"title":"Six thousand evil clowns","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(music. music on truck speakers) Grandboy: Grandpa who's that singing? Me: It's a group called, \"Journey\". Grandboy: It sounds like evil clowns. Me (laughing): Evil clowns? Grandboy: Six thousand of them. --- One of the most harshest of critiques I've heard to date https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MxGEVIvSFeY","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/MxGEVIvSFeY\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=796"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":797,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions\/797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}