Grandboy (laying on his back on the kitchen chair): Gwumpa you do this (kicks his legs in the air) <\/p>\n
Me: No thank you. <\/p>\n
Grandboy: You really should try it Gwumpa (kicks one leg up again) <\/p>\n
Me: No thank you I don’t want to be laying on my back on the kitchen chair putting my feet in the air. <\/p>\n
Grandboy: It’s relaaaaaxing… (smiles) <\/p>\n
Me: I’ll think about it <\/p>\n
Grandboy (triumphant): Yay!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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What about the darkning? Grandboy: The darkning? What's the darkning? Me: The opposite of lightning. It takes light out of the sky and removes noise from the air. Grandboy: What?! That's only make believe. Me: Yes. I've never seen darkning. Grandboy: You\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":521,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/27\/blessings\/","url_meta":{"origin":760,"position":1},"title":"Blessings!","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (from the other room): Achoo Me (walking in unawares, as I hadn't heard him sneeze) Grandboy (scowling) Me: (puzzled look) Grandboy: GWUMPA. I sneezed but you no say \"Bless you\".\u00a0 It flew away now. Me: Ah. That's ok, you can get blessings at any time.\u00a0 Bless you! 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I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":760,"position":3},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1085,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/06\/absolute-power\/","url_meta":{"origin":760,"position":4},"title":"Absolute Power","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (ankle deep in mud, water hose spraying a rainbow into the air): BWAHAHAHAHA Me: ... Grandboy (kicking a toy car out of the deep mudhole he created from the hose spray): AND THAT MY FRIEND IS THAT Me:... Grandboy (aiming the hose along the cement patio, splattering mud everywhere)\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1456,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/06\/a-little-treet\/","url_meta":{"origin":760,"position":5},"title":"A little TREEt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (as we're cutting down trees on Minecraft): Grandpa, tell me a Dad Joke Me: I WOOD if I knew any Grandboy: Ha that's a good one! Me (waving my axe in the air): But first I have to AXE this tree a question Grandboy: Aaugh grandpa Me (collecting the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=760"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":761,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/760\/revisions\/761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}