Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me <\/p>\n
Me: You have to keep trying to learn how to get past this area. Jumping is as important as fighting. <\/p>\n
Grandboy (falling again): AAAUGH hmmm <\/p>\n
Me: Here, let me try <\/p>\n
Grandboy: Yah! I can learn from you how to… (watches me fall, takes the controller) No thanks, I already know how to fall, Gwumpa.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me Me: You have to keep…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-ce","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":735,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/01\/09\/the-grandboy-has-discovered-exercise\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":0},"title":"The grandboy has discovered exercise.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Good golly miss Molly, the grandboy has discovered exercise. Gwumpa gwumpa how many sit-ups you can do? Come down here do them with me look I can do jumping jacks how many you can do? Twenty? Show me, come on good job gwumpa! Let's do push-ups now!","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1043,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/02\/never-was-heard-an-encouraging-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":1},"title":"Never was heard an encouraging word","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look I'm on the roof. Me: Yes, I see. We both are. Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won't DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa? Me: You might. Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!! Me: Yep. Grandboy: Now I'm scared.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":948,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/13\/a-couple-of-honkeys\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":2},"title":"A couple of honkeys","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (honking a bicycle horn repeatedly in the house): GWUMPA STOP (HONK) ME I CAN'T STOP (HONK) HONKING THIS (HONK) HORN!!! Me: You can stop yourself. Grandboy: NO I (HONK) CAN'T YOU HAVE (HONK) TO STOP ME Me: Nope. You have to figure it out on your own. Someday I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":3},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1083,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/05\/mega-stomp-panic\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":4},"title":"Mega Stomp Panic","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa that's cool. I wanna try. Me: Ok, wait a minute. Grandboy: Hey that's like a giant robot. I wanna try, Gwumpa Me: Watch what happens when I JUMP Grandboy: AAAUGH that's COOL GWUMPA I WANNA TRY PLEASE --- Thanks Thinkgeek.com. Now he will get exercise for hours, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/osi5EKRC0Eg\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":758,"position":5},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=758"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":759,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758\/revisions\/759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}