Me: Hey don’t walk on the floor. It’s mopped and very slippery. <\/p>\n
Grandboy: Look I can walk on the floor (hops) and I can dance on the floor, Gwumpa (spins) <\/p>\n
Me: O now look, you can fall on the floor, too. Cool trick. <\/p>\n
Grandboy (picking himself up): That’s NOT FUNNY Gwumpa <\/p>\n
Me: Then why am I laughing?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: Hey don’t walk on the floor. It’s mopped and very slippery. Grandboy: Look I can walk on the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-cc","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":867,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/21\/its-never-to-early-to-learn-how-to-irony\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":0},"title":"It’s never to early to learn how to irony","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey boy, come pick up these Legos. Grandboy: UUUGH gwumpa I'm going to play with them LATERRRrrrrr... Me: I almost stepped on one NOW. Please come pick them up. Grandboy: Ok fine i pick them up. (starts cleaning) You know, you should be CAREFUL when you walk, or you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1045,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/24\/the-best-medicine\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":1},"title":"The best medicine","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ha hey gwumpa wasn't it funny when I threw up out of my nose just now? (He's been battling a cold for a while now) Me: Um yep, that was funny (smile) Grandboy: Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself, huh Gwumpa? Me: Yep sometimes that's all you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":2},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":850,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/26\/look-its-flip-wilson\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":3},"title":"Look, it’s Flip Wilson","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (with silent stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully leaps onto the sleeping form of his gwumpa in the morning): ... Me (with equally stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully flips the oncoming bundle of unknown off onto the floor): ... Grandboy stops pretending to be a ninja so he can pretend\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1379,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/10\/i-really-dont-hate-my-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":4},"title":"I really don’t hate my life","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (Sitting on the floor next to a toy aisle): Hrmph. Me: No. Grandboy: But I want a RYAN toyyyyyyy Me: This is not a discussion we're having. C'mon, I've got the toys I'm getting. Let's go. Grandboy: I'm not leaving without a RYAN TOY Me: Then you aren't leaving.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":992,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/29\/pizza-in-my-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":756,"position":5},"title":"Pizza in my hair","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 29, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: O man why my pizza keep falling off my plate? Me: Because you keep dropping it. Grandboy: That means I need a bigger plate. Me: Nice try, boy. Just be more careful :) Grandboy (making a face, sticks out his tongue): Uh there's pizza in my hair. Me: How'd\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=756"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":757,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/756\/revisions\/757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=756"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=756"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=756"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}