Grandboy (fussing and walking in from the bathroom): Gwumpaaaaa <\/p>\n
Me: Why are you fussing? <\/p>\n
Grandboy: I spray momma’s perfume on my face and eye. <\/p>\n
Me: Why did you spray perfume? You were supposed to be brushing your teeth. <\/p>\n
Grandboy: I WAS brushing my teeth \ud83d\ude41 <\/p>\n
Me: No you weren’t. You were spraying your face with perfume. That’s what happens when you aren’t doing what you should be doing. <\/p>\n
Grandboy: So if I supposed to be spraying my face, I will really brush my teeth? <\/p>\n
Me: Get back in there \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (fussing and walking in from the bathroom): Gwumpaaaaa Me: Why are you fussing? Grandboy: I spray momma’s perfume…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-bH","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1085,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/06\/absolute-power\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":0},"title":"Absolute Power","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (ankle deep in mud, water hose spraying a rainbow into the air): BWAHAHAHAHA Me: ... Grandboy (kicking a toy car out of the deep mudhole he created from the hose spray): AND THAT MY FRIEND IS THAT Me:... Grandboy (aiming the hose along the cement patio, splattering mud everywhere)\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":1},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1430,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/02\/09\/changing-my-aunts-diapers-ewww\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":2},"title":"Changing my aunt’s diapers? Ewww","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 9, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (waving his hands over one of my contact juggling balls): Grandpaaaaa I'm reeeadinnnng yourrrr fortuuuuuune... Me: Oh that's nice. Is it good fortune? Grandboy (same voice): In fifteen years... you'll meet the love of your life. And you'll have babies. A boy and a girl. Me: Huh. That would\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1443,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/07\/14\/teaching-the-boy-to-fish-cut-pizza-actually\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":3},"title":"Teaching the boy to fish. Cut pizza, actually","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: O wow that's tricky. Me: That's ok, keep trying. Grandboy: Ummm I don't think it's supposed to roll up like that (uses fingers to push it back down) Me: Try pressing harder as you push the blade Grandboy: It's not sharp (rolls blade on his arm) Me: That's ok.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":4},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":725,"position":5},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":726,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions\/726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}