Me: Boy, your room’s a mess. When are you going to clean it up?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Ummm after next week. And then a day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: Boy, your room’s a mess. When are you going to clean it up? Grandboy: Ummm after next week.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-bd","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1443,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/07\/14\/teaching-the-boy-to-fish-cut-pizza-actually\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":0},"title":"Teaching the boy to fish. Cut pizza, actually","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: O wow that's tricky. Me: That's ok, keep trying. Grandboy: Ummm I don't think it's supposed to roll up like that (uses fingers to push it back down) Me: Try pressing harder as you push the blade Grandboy: It's not sharp (rolls blade on his arm) Me: That's ok.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":390,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/04\/25\/please-dont-clean-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":1},"title":"Please don’t clean this","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not a clean freak. \u00a0Really. But I do like things tidy. Way back when, a lifetime ago (when things were more stressful), I was the one who did the deep-cleaning (and the light cleaning as well) in the household. \u00a0Vac, mop, walls, etc. Some of that was personal preference,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/WP_20150425_12_08_37_Pro.jpg?fit=674%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/WP_20150425_12_08_37_Pro.jpg?fit=674%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/WP_20150425_12_08_37_Pro.jpg?fit=674%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":534,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/03\/superman-and-the-magical-dolphin\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":2},"title":"Superman and the magical dolphin","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (holding up some legos pressed together): What is this? Me: Ummm, ah. It's a magical dolphin. Grandboy: NO gwumpa it's a piece. For a CAR. Me: Ok. Grandboy (holding the Piece. For a CAR up again): Gwumpa what is this? Me: Ummm, ah. It's a magical dolphin. Grandboy (distraught)\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":3},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":563,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/19\/special-tuesdays\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":4},"title":"Special Tuesdays","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Your room is a mess. Grandboy: I know, gwumpa. I clean it someday. Me: Today is a good day. You should clean your room today. Grandboy: Wellllll,... (excitedly) how 'bout Tuesday? Yes I clean it on Tuesday! Me: ... Grandboy: What today is? Me: If you're cleaning your room\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/18672949389_8e84397d3f_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/18672949389_8e84397d3f_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/18672949389_8e84397d3f_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/18672949389_8e84397d3f_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":687,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/that-sneaky-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":695,"position":5},"title":"That sneaky Claus","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Your room is a mess. Grandboy: Yes. Why my room is a mess? Me: You brought stuff in here and left it laying about. Grandboy: Not me! Maybe a (makes scared face) CREEEATURE sneaked in here and left stuff. Me: O I know. It was Santa Claus. He's always\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=695"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":696,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695\/revisions\/696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=695"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=695"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}