{"id":636,"date":"2015-10-11T12:08:47","date_gmt":"2015-10-11T17:08:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=636"},"modified":"2015-10-17T17:59:56","modified_gmt":"2015-10-17T22:59:56","slug":"balance-of-power","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/10\/11\/balance-of-power\/","title":{"rendered":"Balance of power"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: I sorry I drew on things. I can have my markers back now? I neeeeed to color my pictures.<\/p>\n<p>Me: I don&#8217;t know where your markers went. That&#8217;s between you and your momma.<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: Use your crayons.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Gwumpa, I can have my legos now? I pick them up I promise.<\/p>\n<p>Me: You tell your momma. You left them out and that&#8217;s why they&#8217;re put up. I&#8217;m not part of that \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Mamasan: [looks at the boy]<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: I go color with my crayons now.<\/p>\n<p>The balance of power has been established and maintained. All is well with the world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: I sorry I drew on things. I can have my markers back now? I neeeeed to color my&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-ag","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":896,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/07\/little-hands-big-hearts\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":0},"title":"Little hands, big hearts","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Momma what does that man's sign say? Mamasan: It says he's hungry and he's looking for money for food :( Grandboy: (silent) Mamasan: (wondering what's happening, looks back) Grandboy: (window rolled down, shouting): Here! Here! You can have my sandwich! Homeless man (looking down at the outstretched hand welding\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":887,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/18\/bringin-home-the-bacon-woman\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":1},"title":"Bringin&#8217; home the bacon, woman","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (pretending to carry a briefcase): Bye mom, I'm going to work now. Mamasan: Bye! Bring home the bacon. Grandboy (confused): No mom, I'm not going to the STORE. I'm going to WORK. Mamasan: O that's what you say when someone goes to work. \"Bring home the bacon\". Grandboy: OOH\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":885,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/23\/lessons-in-lost-vegas\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":2},"title":"Lessons in Lost Vegas","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we're lost. The phone's dead. The car phone charger isn't working. I don't recognise this part of town. I have to pee. Grandboy: Ok I'll behave. (they drive, continue to get lost, and start talking about what it would be like to spend the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1183,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/10\/coal-for-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":3},"title":"Coal for Christmas","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Momma, even if I'm on Santa's \"Good List\" I'd still like to get coal as a gift. Mamasan: Why on Earth would you still want coal? Grandboy: Well, coal is a really useful thing. You can make fire with it, turn it into a torch, use it to smelt\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":620,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/09\/06\/pick-up-an-extra-kid-on-the-way-home-please\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":4},"title":"Pick up an extra kid on the way home please","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy, to mamasan: \"Momma, after school tomorrow, when you pick me up, you can get me a baby brudder?\"","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":950,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/17\/quit-stairing-at-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":636,"position":5},"title":"Quit stairing at me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Mama, do you know why these (points) are called 'stairs'? Mamasan: No, why? Grandboy: Because you STAIR at them Mamasan: ... Grandboy: Haha Mamasan: ... Grandboy: :D Mamasan: WHERE do you get these from? Grandboy: Gwumpa Yay! My legacy shall live on","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=636"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":637,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions\/637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}