“Gwumpa, you know why we have planets? So we can have a PLACE to put our STUFF.<\/p>\n
Awwwe. I’d miss mommy if we didn’t have a PLANET.<\/p>\n
And bathtubs.<\/p>\n
O and the grass… and MOTORCYCLES!<\/p>\n
We need a planet, gwumpa.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Gwumpa, you know why we have planets? So we can have a PLACE to put our STUFF. Awwwe. I’d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-a3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":923,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/03\/13\/grabbity\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":0},"title":"Grabbity","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I told the grandboy that large objects (like planets) like to grab small objects (like little boys) and keep them close. That's known as \"grabbity\". I expect a stern talking-to by mamasan soon.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/04\/04\/space-invaders\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":1},"title":"Space invaders","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Blew the grandboy's mind today. He was pretending to be flying in his space craft and landed on a planet. Announced that he's landed safely. I asked him how he feels being a space alien. He replies, \"No gwumpa I not alien. I'm exploring in space.\" To which I respond,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":2},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":297,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2014\/02\/16\/are-you-done-yet\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":3},"title":"Are you done yet?","author":"admin","date":"February 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Gwumpa, what you doing? Gwumpa, what you doing? What you doing, Gwumpa? Gwumpa, what you doing? Are you done? Are you done? Are you done? Gwumpa, you done yet? Are you done? Gwumpa where are you? Where are you Gwumpa? Gwumpawhere are you? Where you go, Gwumpa?\" The kid's a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":423,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/05\/09\/spiderboy\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":4},"title":"Spiderboy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A breathless grandboy came running up to me, wiping his face. \"GWUMPA gwumpa hey gwumpa look hey gwumpa gwumpa AAGH hey\" \"Hm. What's the problem?\" \"Gwumpa i ran into spider web. Spider web on my face. \u00a0Look see see look spider web on my face! \u00a0Spider web.\" [looking] \"I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/2814755278_bba0d32ebb_o1.jpg?fit=800%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/2814755278_bba0d32ebb_o1.jpg?fit=800%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/2814755278_bba0d32ebb_o1.jpg?fit=800%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/2814755278_bba0d32ebb_o1.jpg?fit=800%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":430,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/05\/10\/not-a-cup-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":623,"position":5},"title":"Not a cup gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I made the mistake of picking up some cups that were embedded in the grandboy's collection of toys. \"No don't please don't pick it up.\" \"I need to pick up the cups so we can wash them.\" \"Not a cup gwumpa.\" [looks at my hand] \"That's a freeze chamber. Need\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/WP_20150510_12_16_02_Pro.jpg?fit=1068%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/WP_20150510_12_16_02_Pro.jpg?fit=1068%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/WP_20150510_12_16_02_Pro.jpg?fit=1068%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/WP_20150510_12_16_02_Pro.jpg?fit=1068%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/WP_20150510_12_16_02_Pro.jpg?fit=1068%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=623"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":624,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623\/revisions\/624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}