{"id":591,"date":"2015-08-22T11:21:57","date_gmt":"2015-08-22T16:21:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=591"},"modified":"2015-08-23T16:56:23","modified_gmt":"2015-08-23T21:56:23","slug":"lion-in-wait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/08\/22\/lion-in-wait\/","title":{"rendered":"Lion in wait"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The sunlight pokes its fingers through the blinds as the grandboy tigger-bounces into the bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;GWUMPA gwumpa wot you doin? Wot you doing gwumpa?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sleeping.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;WHY?\u00a0 The sun is up time to get up.\u00a0 Wot you doing gwumpa?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Lying in bed, boy, lying in bed.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;A LION?!?!?&#8221; he misunderstands on purpose, &#8220;Quick HIDE hide gwumpa!!&#8221; [jumps onto the bed and scrambles under the covers, elbows and knees strategically finding their way in all my soft spots]<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;SHHHHHH&#8221; he shushes at the top of his whisper voice.<\/p>\n<p>Quiet.<\/p>\n<p>More quiet.<\/p>\n<p>Then, a little hand pokes out from under the blanket, and i hear a muffled, &#8220;wrrunnn&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;What?&#8221; I pull up the blanket.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I SAAIIIDDD, I need a wrench.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why do you need a wrench?&#8221;\u00a0 and hand him an imaginary wrench.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;SHHHH.&#8221; He scoots back under the blanket.<\/p>\n<p>Another tiny hand pokes out, and a shouty voice, &#8220;SCREWDRIVER!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I hand him a screwdriver.<\/p>\n<p>Again the hand and voice, &#8220;ANOTHER KIND OF SCREWDRIVER!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I lift the blanket and ask, &#8220;Sooo what happened to the lion?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;GWUMPA.&#8221; pulls the blanket back on himself but not all the way, &#8220;You can&#8217;t drive away from the lion in a bwoken jeep.\u00a0 I fixing the jeep but be quiet or the lion eat you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And so the day begins \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Photo credit: <a title=\"Attribution-NoDerivs License\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nd\/2.0\/\">Some rights reserved<\/a> by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/tambako\/\">Tambako the Jaguar<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The sunlight pokes its fingers through the blinds as the grandboy tigger-bounces into the bedroom. &#8220;GWUMPA gwumpa wot you&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":592,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/494116702_b748bcae2e_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-9x","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":56,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/01\/10\/grow-grow-strong-little-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":0},"title":"Grow, grow strong, little one","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The neighbour provides for good Saturday morning entertainment and education. He has a tangerine tree in the back yard and for the last two winters has been donating a bag or two of the fruit to our household. Grandboy and I are eating some, and picking out the seeds. Therein\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":551,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/14\/gwumpa-what-you-doin\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":1},"title":"Gwumpa what you doin&#8217;?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I was walking down the hallway, off to bed and notice the grandboy's door handle sloooooowly turning. So I stand at the door. And wait. The door silently opens a tiny bit and I see a lone eyeball peeking out. I wait. Then comes the little voice: \"Gwumpa what you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/17200747_f294316218_o1.jpg?fit=732%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/17200747_f294316218_o1.jpg?fit=732%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/17200747_f294316218_o1.jpg?fit=732%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/17200747_f294316218_o1.jpg?fit=732%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":578,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/08\/08\/yay-school-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":2},"title":"YAY SCHOOL TIME","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The grandboy is playing a game where he is covering up with a blanket, pretending be asleep and then jumps up excitedly because it's time for school. Hey, I'm not one to stop that game. Anything that helps his momma is a Very Good Thing Photo credit: Some rights reserved\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/17193647851_0954553622_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C680&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/17193647851_0954553622_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C680&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/17193647851_0954553622_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C680&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/17193647851_0954553622_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C680&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":3},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/19\/its-nighttime\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":4},"title":"It&#8217;s NIGHTTIME","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin'? Me: Resting my head in the table. Grandboy: Why? Me: I'm just a little tired, that's all Grandboy (sounding like his mamasan): GWUMPA you need to REST. Your body needs REST. Go back to bed. Me: ... Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa, I can't believe I'm saying\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":691,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/the-sounds-of-science\/","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":5},"title":"The Sounds of Science","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"If you listen carefully you can hear the sounds of children learning. \"Gwumpa I got my shoe stuck in the tree on accident\" That's the sound of a kid learning where not to place his foot as he climbs a tree. \"Gwumpa these are so itchy. Why I kick that\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=591"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/591\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":593,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/591\/revisions\/593"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}