Me, to the grandboy: “Ok, let’s leave the pup out of your room tonight. He needs to guard the rest of the house.”<\/p>\n
Grandboy: “Awwwwee gwumpa he needs to sleep in here with me.”<\/p>\n
Me: “No, you’ll be fine. He’ll keep bad guys from coming through the front or back doors.”<\/p>\n
Grandboy, catching on: “YAH! Stop them from coming in. He eat dem.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Well…”<\/p>\n
Grandboy, on a roll: “Or ZOMBEES. He eat the ZOMBEES gwumpa.”<\/p>\n
Me: …<\/p>\n
Grandboy (no stopping him now): “Or, or. or GOLDILOCKS gwumpa. She break chairs and doors and EAT all our FOOD.”<\/p>\n
Me: …<\/p>\n
Grandboy (to the dog): “Go get them. Get Goldilocks too no let her eat my bweakfast.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1055,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/02\/17\/lets-have-dearie-over-for-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":554,"position":1},"title":"Let’s have dearie over for dinner","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(Watching nature show) Grandboy: Gwumpa that wolf is going to kill that baby deer. Me: Ayep Grandboy: Go baby deer go Me: O no now the cute baby wolf cub will die. It hasn't eaten in weeks and needs food. Grandboy: Oh Me: No wait, the wolf is catching up!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":954,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/06\/sturdy-trees-under-construction-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":554,"position":2},"title":"Sturdy trees under construction here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad. Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that? Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I've redirected his arm) and say, \"Na na na na na\" (wiggling\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":856,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/12\/10\/have-a-yellow\/","url_meta":{"origin":554,"position":3},"title":"Have a yellow","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: ...but what about apple? Grandboy: No gwumpa, \"apple\" isn't a color Me: Why not? Grandboy: Because you EAT apples Me: But you can eat oranges and that's a color too. So why can't you eat apples and have a color \"apple\" too? 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