Gwumpa chase me chase me chase me GWUMPA CHASE MEEEEE<\/p>\n
[hmph]<\/p>\n
Ok gwumpa it’s ok just PRETEND to chase me, ok?<\/p>\n
[runs]<\/p>\n
HAHAHAHA WEEEEE<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Gwumpa chase me chase me chase me GWUMPA CHASE MEEEEE [hmph] Ok gwumpa it’s ok just PRETEND to chase…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/10881503_10152422586431249_4099363458233532856_n1.jpg?fit=541%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-6M","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":80,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2014\/04\/08\/keep-an-eye-out-for-monsters\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":0},"title":"Keep an eye out for MONSTERS","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes, on our walks, the grandboy and I play the \"Monsters Are Coming\" game. It's not what you may think. We chase the monsters.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":869,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/21\/pretending-to-play\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":1},"title":"Pretending to play","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: [cleaning] Grandboy: Gwumpa i'm driving my car to your shop. You can fix it for me? Me: I can't sorry, I'm cleaning things right now. Grandboy: it's PRETEND Me: [looking over at pretend car] Sorry, I can't play pretend. i need to get this stuff cleaned up before the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":2},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":3},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":66,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2014\/09\/11\/friendly-fire\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":4},"title":"Friendly fire","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Even the best intentions go awry. I was walking with the grandboy in the neighbourhood and we were discussing what was ok to \"shoot\" with his pretend handgun (a literal gun made with his pointy finger) and what wasn't. Squirrels, trees, parked cars, random bugs and fence posts, ok. People,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1259,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/15\/pretend-your-life-depends-on-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":5},"title":"Pretend your life depends on it","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy and I were playing the \"Pretend Your Life Depends On It\" game this weekend... Grandboy (weakly stretching forward): Grandpa. I can't reach that toy car. Can you get it for me? Me: Nope, you get it. Pretend your life depends on it and you're by yourself. ... Grandboy (straining):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=420"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":422,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions\/422"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}