The grandboy, while helping me do dishes:<\/p>\n
“Gwumpa I NEVER drink old coffee (as he watches me dump out my thermos) blaughhh. You know why? You know why gwumpa? You know?”<\/p>\n
“No, why is that?”<\/p>\n
“Because I drink old coffee I’ll be old like you gwumpa I’ll be oooolllld”<\/p>\n
“He he yep you’ll turn old all right.”<\/p>\n
“Yah and den, and den I turn into a zombie and attack everyone and attack momma and she’ll get mad.”<\/p>\n
“Yep better stay away from that old coffee then…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The grandboy, while helping me do dishes: “Gwumpa I NEVER drink old coffee (as he watches me dump out…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-A","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":491,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/05\/31\/because-its-fun\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":0},"title":"Because it’s fun","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Someday I'll regret answering the grandboy with the answer \"Because it's fun\" when i can't be bothered to provide a proper answer. Karma's gonna have fun then :P \"Why you wiping the table, gwumpa?\" \u00a0\"Because the table is wet.\" \u00a0 \"Why the table is wet, gwumpa?\" \u00a0 \"Because I spilled\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/221785705_bba6069e8f_o1.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/221785705_bba6069e8f_o1.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/221785705_bba6069e8f_o1.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/221785705_bba6069e8f_o1.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/221785705_bba6069e8f_o1.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1045,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/24\/the-best-medicine\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":1},"title":"The best medicine","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ha hey gwumpa wasn't it funny when I threw up out of my nose just now? (He's been battling a cold for a while now) Me: Um yep, that was funny (smile) Grandboy: Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself, huh Gwumpa? Me: Yep sometimes that's all you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":689,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/boss-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":2},"title":"Boss man","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa you the boss of mom? Me: Yep. Grandboy: And Gwumpa mom is the boss of me? Me: Yep. Grandboy: Well then who I the boss of? Me: Your hands and your feet. Make sure they do good things.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":954,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/06\/sturdy-trees-under-construction-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":3},"title":"Sturdy trees under construction here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad. Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that? Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I've redirected his arm) and say, \"Na na na na na\" (wiggling\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":517,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/crimefighting-and-coffee\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":4},"title":"Crimefighting and coffee","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The grandboy's epic monster v superhero battles now include traffic infractions (i.e. running red lights) and post-clash coffee breaks. \"Ok you never go through red light again?\" \"No not again superman\" \"Ok now you want coffee?\" \"Sure\" Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Vermin Inc","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/3309200288_1d692f9c3d_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/3309200288_1d692f9c3d_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/3309200288_1d692f9c3d_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/3309200288_1d692f9c3d_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":802,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/08\/23\/only-the-strong-prevail\/","url_meta":{"origin":36,"position":5},"title":"Only the strong prevail","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey where's my hug? I didn't get one Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in you I'll be weak if they come over and I can't fight when the bad guys come in the house. Me: Yep you're right, I'm still weak Grandboy: Mama got strong\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions\/37"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}