The grandboy, trying to convince me to let the family dog sleep with him:<\/p>\n
“Gwumpa, i neeeed puppy in here.”<\/p>\n
“O? Why do you neeeeed him in here?”<\/p>\n
“Look.” (he picks up his (currently) fav toy, a “Jake pirate” doll from “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” cartoon series) “look see? Him not alive.” (picks up the doll, stands it up and it falls over)<\/p>\n
“See he can’t stand up. Can’t protect me when bad guys come in the window and take me. Hmph” (crosses arms)<\/p>\n
“Him him him not alive i neeeed puppy.”<\/p>\n
“Ok. Let’s go see if puppy wants to come in and sleep in here.”<\/p>\n
Sad to say the pup wasn’t having any of this. He was cozy on the couch, and chose to pretend neither of us were calling and shouting his name, even when young master was standing in front of him.<\/p>\n
I promised the youngun I’d pop in now and again to make sure no bad guys had stolen him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The grandboy, trying to convince me to let the family dog sleep with him: “Gwumpa, i neeeed puppy in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-u","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":554,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/15\/breaking-bad-well-breaking-chairs-at-least\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":0},"title":"Breaking Bad. Well, breaking chairs, at least.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me, to the grandboy: \"Ok, let's leave the pup out of your room tonight. He needs to guard the rest of the house.\" Grandboy: \"Awwwwee gwumpa he needs to sleep in here with me.\" Me: \"No, you'll be fine. He'll keep bad guys from coming through the front or back\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":395,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/04\/25\/costs-money-gwumpa-costs-money\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":1},"title":"Costs money, Gwumpa, costs money…!","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I accidentally made the grandboy cry one day while teaching him about money. He\u00a0understands about the concept of money. \u00a0You need it to do certain things but not for others. \u00a0He knows this personally because he plays \"free\" games on a tablet and knows some areas or items are locked\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/11193231_10152868991415886_4395974686734853110_n.jpg?fit=720%2C720&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/11193231_10152868991415886_4395974686734853110_n.jpg?fit=720%2C720&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/11193231_10152868991415886_4395974686734853110_n.jpg?fit=720%2C720&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/11193231_10152868991415886_4395974686734853110_n.jpg?fit=720%2C720&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":159,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2012\/06\/09\/again-with-the-bucket\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":2},"title":"Again with the bucket","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 9, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Today, we play the \"there's a bucket on my head\" song and dance routine. The puppy was amused","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/599902_10150853110781249_2026302499_n1.jpg?fit=718%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/599902_10150853110781249_2026302499_n1.jpg?fit=718%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/599902_10150853110781249_2026302499_n1.jpg?fit=718%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/599902_10150853110781249_2026302499_n1.jpg?fit=718%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":3},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1432,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/santa-claaaawwwsss\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":4},"title":"Santa CLAAAAWWWSSS","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ...and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When he's done there's nothing left. Me: Claus? Isn't he the guy who gives presents to good kids? Grandboy: O no grandpa, that's SANTA Claus. He's a different guy. Me: Maybe he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":802,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/08\/23\/only-the-strong-prevail\/","url_meta":{"origin":30,"position":5},"title":"Only the strong prevail","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey where's my hug? I didn't get one Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in you I'll be weak if they come over and I can't fight when the bad guys come in the house. Me: Yep you're right, I'm still weak Grandboy: Mama got strong\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions\/31"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}