{"id":259,"date":"2014-03-22T11:20:15","date_gmt":"2014-03-22T17:20:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=259"},"modified":"2015-04-11T16:03:22","modified_gmt":"2015-04-11T22:03:22","slug":"racing-snails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2014\/03\/22\/racing-snails\/","title":{"rendered":"Racing snails"},"content":{"rendered":"

To you and me, these look like apple slices. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To a 3.5 yr old boy these are racing snails.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Racing snails that scream when you chew them…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"1381336_10151925371651249_1247962560_n[1]\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To you and me, these look like apple slices. To a 3.5 yr old boy these are racing snails.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":260,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/1381336_10151925371651249_1247962560_n1.jpg?fit=960%2C668&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-4b","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1004,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/18\/driving-at-a-snails-pace\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":0},"title":"Driving at a snail’s pace","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there's a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks back): Ayep, sure is. Grandboy: He sure likes it back there. Me (driving): Ayep. Grandboy: Because you're a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around. Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":628,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/09\/13\/ski-shells-and-snee-snails\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":1},"title":"Ski Shells and Snee Snails","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The grandboy is excited. Mamasan is taking him to the beach where he can find SKI SHELLS and maybe some SNEE SNAILS","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":2},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1095,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/06\/01\/what-did-you-say-boy\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":3},"title":"WHAT did you say, boy?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): What is that FLIPPIN' zombie doing?!?! Me (in a dangerous rumbly voice): WHAT did you say, boy? Grandboy (realising the gravity of the situation): Oh, no Gwumpa I mean it's really flipping over and over like cartwheels but forward, look Gwumpa look at the screen...","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1443,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/07\/14\/teaching-the-boy-to-fish-cut-pizza-actually\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":4},"title":"Teaching the boy to fish. Cut pizza, actually","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: O wow that's tricky. Me: That's ok, keep trying. Grandboy: Ummm I don't think it's supposed to roll up like that (uses fingers to push it back down) Me: Try pressing harder as you push the blade Grandboy: It's not sharp (rolls blade on his arm) Me: That's ok.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1486,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/12\/20\/rushing-in-unprepared\/","url_meta":{"origin":259,"position":5},"title":"Rushing in unprepared","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing Plants vs Zombies): Grandpa I learned that it's sometimes not a good idea to go rushing into the area. I did that when I was younger and got killed. So now I look around before going in. Me: Sounds like real life, boy. Grandboy: What? O yah like\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=259"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":262,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions\/262"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/260"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}