{"id":226,"date":"2013-02-24T13:02:22","date_gmt":"2013-02-24T19:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=226"},"modified":"2015-04-11T15:30:51","modified_gmt":"2015-04-11T21:30:51","slug":"slow-children-are-ok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2013\/02\/24\/slow-children-are-ok\/","title":{"rendered":"Slow children are ok"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span id=\"fbPhotoSnowliftCaption\" class=\"fbPhotosPhotoCaption\" tabindex=\"0\" data-ft=\"{&quot;tn&quot;:&quot;K&quot;}\"><span class=\"hasCaption\" data-gt=\"{&quot;timeline_og_unit_click&quot;:&quot;1&quot;,&quot;app_id&quot;:&quot;137206539707334&quot;,&quot;action_type_id&quot;:&quot;348019061959413&quot;,&quot;object_type&quot;:&quot;flickr_photos:photo&quot;,&quot;unit_id&quot;:&quot;447280888645770&quot;,&quot;og_ref&quot;:&quot;w&quot;,&quot;is_intentional&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\">Slow children are ok.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s not the slow children that worry me; it&#8217;s the small, quick ones that are likely to pop out from behind a parked car as I drive that worry me<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-227\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?resize=208%2C300\" alt=\"559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n[1]\" width=\"208\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?resize=208%2C300&amp;ssl=1 208w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?w=666&amp;ssl=1 666w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 208px) 100vw, 208px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Slow children are ok. It&#8217;s not the slow children that worry me; it&#8217;s the small, quick ones that are&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/559903_10151271407466249_1895932815_n1.jpg?fit=666%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-3E","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":50,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/02\/26\/so-so-grimm\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":0},"title":"So, so Grimm","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't think Grimm's Fairy Tales were necessarily written to entertain little children, but I think they may have been written BY them... The grandboy and I were having a safety discussion after I found he'd unlocked and opened the front door. This was our debriefing: \"Ok now why do\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":808,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/09\/06\/we-all-sloths-in-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":1},"title":"we all SLOTHS in here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 6, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"[I walk into the room, where mamasan is making dramatic, slow-motion sweeping movements as she walks towards the kitchen table] Me (thinking): Sure, why not? [I start moving in slow motion with overly-exaggerated movements] Grandboy: Gwumpa we're SLOTHS! We all SLOTHS in HERE Me (speaking in low, drawn-out speech): OOOOkayyyy\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1246,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/06\/14\/thegrandkidstore-dot-com\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":2},"title":"TheGrandkidStore dot com","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 14, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ok that's it. I'm not drinking anything for 1000 days Me: O, you're that angry with me, are you? Grandboy: YES! ONE THOUSAND DAYS. And then I'll be dead. How does that sound? Me: Sounds like a sad way to make me sad. Grandboy: And THEN what will you\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":946,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/05\/06\/immature-adult-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":3},"title":"Immature adult children","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"If you're a parent with a child over the age of six, this is a good broadcast. If you ARE a child over the age of six, this is an even better broadcast. https:\/\/www.heartlightministries.org\/2017\/05\/adult-child-still-immature","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":612,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/09\/03\/children-teach-quantum-physics\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":4},"title":"Children teach quantum physics","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"If you're ever wondering how quantum physics and children (particularly grandchildren) are alike, consider this: You can measure where the child is, or how quickly he or she is running around the house, but never both at the same time. Given the amount of time the child enters a room\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/erix\/14490883330\/sizes\/l","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/14490883330_7e723dba38_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C684&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/14490883330_7e723dba38_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C684&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/14490883330_7e723dba38_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C684&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/14490883330_7e723dba38_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C684&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":226,"position":5},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=226"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":228,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226\/revisions\/228"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}