{"id":1503,"date":"2021-01-06T16:21:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-06T22:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1503"},"modified":"2021-03-03T16:58:36","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T22:58:36","slug":"here-be-dragonswans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/06\/here-be-dragonswans\/","title":{"rendered":"Here be dragonswans"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Showing the eldest grandboy how to make swans\/dragons of different sizes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Showing the eldest grandboy how to make swans\/dragons of different sizes<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-of","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1501,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/04\/sing-a-song-of-sixpence\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":0},"title":"Sing a song of sixpence","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 4, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"I've learned the eldest grandboy fills quiet spaces with his homemade songs. As a result, I've subtly made an increase in quiet spaces effective immediately. He seems to have absorbed Gene Kelly's style, so that's not a bad thing at all. How did he pick up on Gene Kelly? Well\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":954,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/06\/sturdy-trees-under-construction-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":1},"title":"Sturdy trees under construction here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad. Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that? Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I've redirected his arm) and say, \"Na na na na na\" (wiggling\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1187,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/17\/indubidibly\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":2},"title":"Indubidibly","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (selecting a game's display language): What's \"English (UK)\" and \"English (US)\" and why are they different? Me: The UK version is the original English and the US version came afterwards. Grandboy: So now everyone speaks US version, right? Me: No, loads of people still speak the original English. That's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1379,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/10\/i-really-dont-hate-my-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":3},"title":"I really don’t hate my life","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (Sitting on the floor next to a toy aisle): Hrmph. Me: No. Grandboy: But I want a RYAN toyyyyyyy Me: This is not a discussion we're having. C'mon, I've got the toys I'm getting. Let's go. Grandboy: I'm not leaving without a RYAN TOY Me: Then you aren't leaving.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1460,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/passing-on-the-torch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":4},"title":"Passing on the torch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me (showing a video of Homer Simpson saying \"d'oh!\"): And that's Homer Simpson from an old tv show. Grandboy: Huh. I've never seen that show. How old is it? Me: Well it was made before you were born, boy. Grandboy (in awe): Wow. So the Homer Simpson show was made\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1494,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/01\/cookie-run\/","url_meta":{"origin":1503,"position":5},"title":"Cookie run","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 1, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The eldest grandboy wanted cookies. I introduced him to exercise and to some random algorithm in the process. So far he's on the 2nd iteration","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/134107068_10157399749856249_4882028848785367851_o_10157399749851249.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/134107068_10157399749856249_4882028848785367851_o_10157399749851249.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/134107068_10157399749856249_4882028848785367851_o_10157399749851249.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/134107068_10157399749856249_4882028848785367851_o_10157399749851249.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/134107068_10157399749856249_4882028848785367851_o_10157399749851249.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1503"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1505,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503\/revisions\/1505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}