Grandboy (chopping tree brush with a hand axe): Whew<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Just be careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Yes grandpa<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Because if you get hurt, it’ll be an axeident<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Uhhh<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Because you’re using an AXE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Uhhh<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: And it will be an AXE…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: If I laugh now, can we take an ice cream break?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (chopping tree brush with a hand axe): Whew Me: Just be careful. Grandboy: Yes grandpa Me: Because if…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-nN","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":758,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/03\/no-thanks-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":0},"title":"No thanks, Gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me Me: You have to keep trying to learn how to get past this area. Jumping is as important as fighting. Grandboy (falling again): AAAUGH hmmm Me: Here, let me try Grandboy: Yah! I can learn from\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1456,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/06\/a-little-treet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":1},"title":"A little TREEt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (as we're cutting down trees on Minecraft): Grandpa, tell me a Dad Joke Me: I WOOD if I knew any Grandboy: Ha that's a good one! Me (waving my axe in the air): But first I have to AXE this tree a question Grandboy: Aaugh grandpa Me (collecting the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":2},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":3},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1497,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/02\/annoying-parrot\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":4},"title":"Annoying Parrot","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 2, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP Me: What are you doing? Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP Me (stares in Texan): ... Grandboy: I'm being an annoying parrot Me: You're doing a surprisingly good job. Grandboy: You're doing a surprisingly good job. Me: Huh? Grandboy: Huh? Me (catching on): I said nothing.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1196,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/12\/05\/hope-you-enjoy-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1475,"position":5},"title":"Hope it doesn’t hurt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, you'll live a long time.\u00a0 Me: I hope so. Grandboy: But when you DO die, it won't hurt, will it? Me: I don't know. Grandboy: WHAT?!? YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HURT???!!? Me: Yep. Depends on how it happens. I might get in a car crash. 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