{"id":1450,"date":"2020-08-01T17:12:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-01T22:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1450"},"modified":"2021-03-03T16:32:30","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T22:32:30","slug":"grandpa-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/08\/01\/grandpa-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Grandpa help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“Grandpa help”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haha the timestamps on the pics say it took from 4:47p to 5:02p to sort this one out. That’s a record<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Grandpa help” Haha the timestamps on the pics say it took from 4:47p to 5:02p to sort this one…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-no","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1482,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/11\/29\/constitutional-republic\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":0},"title":"Constitutional Republic","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (putting a Lego kit together): You know, grandpa, federal gov't that's out of control is actually scary. Me (chuckling): Why do you say that? Grandboy: BECAUSE GRANDPA if one group has all the power they can take your house and things and stuff. Me: Yep. But we have ways\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":1},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1398,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/take-my-hand-please\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":2},"title":"Take my hand, please","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Lady on video game: If you'll take my hand, your majesty, we'll make our way there. Me: But if he takes her hand, she'll have only one left. Grandboy (puzzled): Huh? (gets the dad joke) Ah grandpa that's just something people say when they mean, \"Come hold my hand\". Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1243,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/05\/21\/exxxxxxellllllll\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":3},"title":"EXXXXXXELLLLLLLL","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a game, and is frustrated): Grandpa, I can't get this to work. The instructions say to press (x) but when I press (x) it doesn't work! Me: That's why I don't play that glitchy game (Roblox). The instructions the developers give don't always work. And many times the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1259,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/15\/pretend-your-life-depends-on-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":4},"title":"Pretend your life depends on it","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy and I were playing the \"Pretend Your Life Depends On It\" game this weekend... Grandboy (weakly stretching forward): Grandpa. I can't reach that toy car. Can you get it for me? Me: Nope, you get it. Pretend your life depends on it and you're by yourself. ... Grandboy (straining):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1248,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/06\/11\/ears-to-you-ol-chum\/","url_meta":{"origin":1450,"position":5},"title":"Ears to you, ol’ chum","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (disembodied voice): HEY GRANDPA you can't find me Me (resisting the temptation to say, \"because I'm not looking\"): Are you under the table? Grandboy (giggling): No Me: Are you... (we go through a series of places where he's not) Grandboy: C'mon, grandpa, you have to actually GUESS. Me: Are\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1450"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1450\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1453,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1450\/revisions\/1453"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}