Grandboy: O wow that’s tricky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: That’s ok, keep trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Ummm I don’t think it’s supposed to roll up like that (uses fingers to push it back down)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Try pressing harder as you push the blade<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: It’s not sharp (rolls blade on his arm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: That’s ok. It’s sharp enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (now in the groove, cut, press pieces down with his fingers): Yah pushing down harder works. Cut cut push push.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: … (eye twitching)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: O wow I’ll have to wash my HANDS after this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Yep. I hope you washed your hands before we started. Would you like a piece?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: No thank you grandpa. I just wanted to see how to use the pizza cutter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(We look at the organized carnage that used to be my gourmet pizza on the cutting board)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Well it’s good to learn something new! Next time we’ll practice not separating the pieces with your fingers, yah?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: O wow that’s tricky. Me: That’s ok, keep trying. Grandboy: Ummm I don’t think it’s supposed to roll…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-nh","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":0},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1071,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/04\/02\/theres-an-app-for-that\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":1},"title":"There’s an app for that","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(We watch an advert for a phone app that scans one's surroundings to warn if one is going to trip over something) Grandboy: Wow that's a cool idea. Me: I have an app that works even better than that. Want to see it? Grandboy: SURE Me (pull out my phone):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1145,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/07\/21\/prayer-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":2},"title":"Prayer time","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy is upset at prayer time. I was firm on the, \"no, you can't have a slice of pizza now\" position: Me: Ok, you don't want to thank God for anything today. That's ok. Is there anything you'd like to ask Him for help with? Grandboy: Well, that mama stays\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":3},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":735,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/01\/09\/the-grandboy-has-discovered-exercise\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":4},"title":"The grandboy has discovered exercise.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Good golly miss Molly, the grandboy has discovered exercise. Gwumpa gwumpa how many sit-ups you can do? Come down here do them with me look I can do jumping jacks how many you can do? Twenty? Show me, come on good job gwumpa! Let's do push-ups now!","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":5},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1443"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1444,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443\/revisions\/1444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}