Grandboy: …and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When he’s done there’s nothing left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Claus? Isn’t he the guy who gives presents to good kids?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: O no grandpa, that’s SANTA Claus. He’s a different guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Maybe he’s the same guy, and his Claws come out at night when the bad kids are acting up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Yah that makes sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Apologies to mamasan. I can’t help it sometimes)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: …and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-n6","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":687,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/that-sneaky-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":0},"title":"That sneaky Claus","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Your room is a mess. Grandboy: Yes. Why my room is a mess? Me: You brought stuff in here and left it laying about. Grandboy: Not me! Maybe a (makes scared face) CREEEATURE sneaked in here and left stuff. Me: O I know. It was Santa Claus. He's always\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":854,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/12\/09\/sharknados-with-red-noses\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":1},"title":"Sharknados with red noses","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: ...so what about Sharknados? Grandboy: GWUMPA you making me think about stuff that's NOT REAL! Me: O like Santa Claus? Grandboy: You ruining it for me Gwumpa. I know he's not real but I pretend he's real. Not like sharknados. Me: Maybe Santa rides on sharknados Grandboy: [the LOOK]","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1434,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/dont-get-me-started\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":2},"title":"Don’t get me started","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (explaining something he created on Minecraft): ...and this guy, he's a big one. That's because he's the LEADER of the team. And he's STRONG. Don't get me started on the leader... Me: O really? And why not? Grandboy: Well, it's because he... (continues for about 15 mins talking about\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1257,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/13\/from-the-good-guys-lair\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":3},"title":"From the good guys’ lair","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 13, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ... and then the bad guy comes out of his lair and attacks the people. Me: And the good guys? Grandboy: They come out of THEIR place... Me: Their lair? Grandboy: YAH. The good guy lair. Me: I'm not sure good guys have lairs. Grandboy: OF COURSE THEY DO\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":4},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1181,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/04\/time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana\/","url_meta":{"origin":1432,"position":5},"title":"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Hey why the shouting? Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa. (The \"mosquito\" from earlier was actually a fly) Me: He's not hurting you, leave him be. Grandboy: Nooooo he's bothering me. Me: Is he bugging you? 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