{"id":1430,"date":"2020-02-09T10:05:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-09T16:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1430"},"modified":"2021-03-03T16:18:03","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T22:18:03","slug":"changing-my-aunts-diapers-ewww","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/02\/09\/changing-my-aunts-diapers-ewww\/","title":{"rendered":"Changing my aunt&#8217;s diapers?  Ewww"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Grandboy (waving his hands over one of my contact juggling balls): Grandpaaaaa I&#8217;m reeeadinnnng yourrrr fortuuuuuune&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: Oh that&#8217;s nice. Is it good fortune?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy (same voice): In fifteen years&#8230; you&#8217;ll meet the love of your life. And you&#8217;ll have babies. A boy and a girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: Huh. That would be interesting. That means your momma could have a baby sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy: Yah! A baby sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: And that means you&#8217;ll have a new aunt. Just like your uncles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy (thinking)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: And you can help change your aunt&#8217;s diapers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy (mind blown): Wait a minute. I&#8217;D BE CHANGING MY AUNT&#8217;S DIAPERS. She&#8217;s supposed to be older than me. BUT SHE&#8217;D BE A BABY<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: So maybe I shouldn&#8217;t have any new babies. That would just confuse everyone, huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy: Yah Grandpa that would be confusing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy (waving his hands over one of my contact juggling balls): Grandpaaaaa I&#8217;m reeeadinnnng yourrrr fortuuuuuune&#8230; Me: Oh that&#8217;s&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-n4","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":0},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":1},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1055,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/02\/17\/lets-have-dearie-over-for-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":2},"title":"Let&#8217;s have dearie over for dinner","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(Watching nature show) Grandboy: Gwumpa that wolf is going to kill that baby deer. Me: Ayep Grandboy: Go baby deer go Me: O no now the cute baby wolf cub will die. It hasn't eaten in weeks and needs food. Grandboy: Oh Me: No wait, the wolf is catching up!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1196,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/12\/05\/hope-you-enjoy-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":3},"title":"Hope it doesn&#8217;t hurt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, you'll live a long time.\u00a0 Me: I hope so. Grandboy: But when you DO die, it won't hurt, will it? Me: I don't know. Grandboy: WHAT?!? YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HURT???!!? Me: Yep. Depends on how it happens. I might get in a car crash. Or just\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1396,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/half-way-there-grandpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":4},"title":"Half way there, grandpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: I like this song. Grandboy: It's a nice song. Me: I first heard it when your momma was almost your age. Grandboy: Really? She was 8 years old? Me: No, she was like 12, I think. Grandboy (frowning): GRANDPA. That's not even CLOSE. Me: Ah. Just give it a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":852,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/26\/hug-every-moment\/","url_meta":{"origin":1430,"position":5},"title":"Hug every moment","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, you're not going to die for a looooong time, right, gwumpa? Me: I don't know that. Grandboy: What? You don't know you'll live a long time? Me: Nope. I might live a looooong time, I might live a short time. I might die this afternoon. You never know\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1430"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1430\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1431,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1430\/revisions\/1431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}