Grandboy: “…boss baby.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Would you like to be a boss baby?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that’s like me asking me your deepest darkest secret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: So… What IS your deepest darkest secret?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: That I have a grandson who doesn’t want to tell me why he doesn’t like to be a boss baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Are you writing this? Stop writing this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Because.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: It doesn’t matter, no one reads these anyway \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: O you’re the best grandpa ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (looking over my shoulder): I DID NOT SAY THAT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Hee hee<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: “…boss baby.” Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-mW","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":0},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":689,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/15\/boss-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":1},"title":"Boss man","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa you the boss of mom? Me: Yep. Grandboy: And Gwumpa mom is the boss of me? Me: Yep. Grandboy: Well then who I the boss of? Me: Your hands and your feet. Make sure they do good things.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1426,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/youre-fired\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":2},"title":"You’re fired","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: The word, \"fire\" is an odd word. Grandboy: Why is that, grandpa? Me: Well, \"fire\" can burn something, and you can \"fire\" a weapon, and a boss can \"fire\" a person. Same word but they have different meanings. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: No, they come from the same thing. A\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1055,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/02\/17\/lets-have-dearie-over-for-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":3},"title":"Let’s have dearie over for dinner","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(Watching nature show) Grandboy: Gwumpa that wolf is going to kill that baby deer. Me: Ayep Grandboy: Go baby deer go Me: O no now the cute baby wolf cub will die. It hasn't eaten in weeks and needs food. Grandboy: Oh Me: No wait, the wolf is catching up!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1430,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/02\/09\/changing-my-aunts-diapers-ewww\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":4},"title":"Changing my aunt’s diapers? Ewww","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 9, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (waving his hands over one of my contact juggling balls): Grandpaaaaa I'm reeeadinnnng yourrrr fortuuuuuune... Me: Oh that's nice. Is it good fortune? Grandboy (same voice): In fifteen years... you'll meet the love of your life. And you'll have babies. A boy and a girl. Me: Huh. That would\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1196,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/12\/05\/hope-you-enjoy-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1422,"position":5},"title":"Hope it doesn’t hurt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, you'll live a long time.\u00a0 Me: I hope so. Grandboy: But when you DO die, it won't hurt, will it? Me: I don't know. Grandboy: WHAT?!? YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HURT???!!? Me: Yep. Depends on how it happens. I might get in a car crash. 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