{"id":1402,"date":"2019-09-21T18:57:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-21T23:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1402"},"modified":"2021-03-03T16:00:54","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T22:00:54","slug":"hes-dead-jim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/09\/21\/hes-dead-jim\/","title":{"rendered":"He&#8217;s dead, Jim"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Grandboy (playing an old-school dungeon crawler video game): Ah! My character. He&#8217;s dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: Jim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy: Huh? (distracted by the game, as his other guys are still in battle) O I got the monster. He&#8217;s dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: Jim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy: Why do you keep saying, &#8220;Jim&#8221; when I say, &#8220;He&#8217;s dead&#8221;?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(I proceed to teach him about Bones McCoy, and now this phrase is in his lexicon. Apologies to mamasan)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy (playing an old-school dungeon crawler video game): Ah! My character. He&#8217;s dead. Me: Jim. Grandboy: Huh? (distracted by&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-mC","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1181,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/04\/time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":0},"title":"Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Hey why the shouting? Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa. (The \"mosquito\" from earlier was actually a fly) Me: He's not hurting you, leave him be. Grandboy: Nooooo he's bothering me. Me: Is he bugging you? Grandboy (looks sideways at me) Me: He's BUGGING you.\u00a0 Grandboy (no change\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":1},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1434,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/dont-get-me-started\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":2},"title":"Don&#8217;t get me started","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (explaining something he created on Minecraft): ...and this guy, he's a big one. That's because he's the LEADER of the team. And he's STRONG. Don't get me started on the leader... Me: O really? And why not? Grandboy: Well, it's because he... (continues for about 15 mins talking about\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":959,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/24\/pokemon-gone\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":3},"title":"Pokemon Gone","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: (Looking at a toy on a game he's playing) Hey that's a Pokemon. Me: A POKEMON?!?! How do you know what a Pokemon is? Grandboy: Gwumpa. I know what a Pokemon is. I've seen Pokemon Go. Me: Oh. Where did they go? Grandboy: (shrugs his shoulders) Everywhere. Like a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1416,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/11\/16\/quicksave-in-real-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":4},"title":"Quicksave in real life?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 16, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ooo he looks dangerous. Me: Hm. I'd hide for a bit and get your strength back. Grandboy: Good idea (he hides). Me: O he's a lot stronger than you. I'd head back to a safe place and do a quicksave. Grandboy: That's a good idea grandpa. (He saves the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1432,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/santa-claaaawwwsss\/","url_meta":{"origin":1402,"position":5},"title":"Santa CLAAAAWWWSSS","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ...and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When he's done there's nothing left. Me: Claus? Isn't he the guy who gives presents to good kids? Grandboy: O no grandpa, that's SANTA Claus. He's a different guy. Me: Maybe he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1402"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1403,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402\/revisions\/1403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}