Last grand-story for today, I promise<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We were having a typical discussion yesterday while washing the truck in the driveway. I casually mentioned I was going to climb on top of the truck and would jump off, and was met with instant concern:<\/p>\n
He: “NO GWUMPA no climbing onna truck. You fall down and and and bonk yer head.”<\/p>\n
Me: “…and then momma calls the doctor…?”<\/p>\n
He: “YAH and momma call the doctor and and the doctor, the doctor said..”<\/p>\n
Me (singing triumphantly, having set up the joke): “…no more monkeys jump…”<\/p>\n
He: “NO NO GWUMPA doctor said, ‘No more gwumpas jumping onna twuck'”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last grand-story for today, I promise We were having a typical discussion yesterday while washing the truck in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-2g","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":733,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/01\/09\/everyone-needs-jobs\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":0},"title":"Everyone needs jobs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, how you get this truck? Me: I got a job and got paid for doing work, then I paid for the truck. Grandboy: Everyone needs things. Me: Yep. Grandboy: Everyone needs jobs. Me: Yep if you can work, you should. It makes you stronger and you help people\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/02\/15\/help-me-momma-help-help-me-momma\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":1},"title":"Help me, momma, help, help me, momma","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The grandboy, trying to type his name into a computer game: \"Mom mom I need to put something in here what help me mom heeeelp\" \"Hey put your name in there. You know how to spell your name. How do you spell your name?\" \"With help. Help me mommmma\"","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":751,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/14\/wheres-your-backup\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":2},"title":"Where’s your backup?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (in his car seat, yawning): Gwumpa why you take me to school in the dark? Momma doesn't take me to school in the dark. Me: Ah I have to get to work before momma, so I have to leave earlier. Grandboy: But why you work? Momma works. Me: I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1394,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/dont-tell-me-what-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":3},"title":"don’t tell me what to do","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (rapping): ...so don't tell me what to do don't tell me what to doif you tell me what to doI'll be so mad at you if you tell me what to doI'll tell your momma tooI'll tell your momma toodon't tell me what to do Me: What if it's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2014\/08\/12\/school-daze\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":4},"title":"School daze","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"...and so it begins... Momma, to the grandboy, \"Go to sleep nice now because you're going to have a great day in school tomorrow.\" Grandboy, after giving this a good think, \"But I already went to school. I went today.\" Good luck, momma","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":636,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/10\/11\/balance-of-power\/","url_meta":{"origin":140,"position":5},"title":"Balance of power","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: I sorry I drew on things. I can have my markers back now? I neeeeed to color my pictures. Me: I don't know where your markers went. That's between you and your momma. Mamasan: Use your crayons. Grandboy: Gwumpa, I can have my legos now? I pick them up\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=140"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":141,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions\/141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}