Lady on video game: If you’ll take my hand, your majesty, we’ll make our way there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: But if he takes her hand, she’ll have only one left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (puzzled): Huh? (gets the dad joke) Ah grandpa that’s just something people say when they mean, “Come hold my hand”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Hm. Maybe people should say what they mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: It’s just called ‘manners’ grandpa. That’s when you say the right thing even if it’s not what you mean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Lady on video game: If you’ll take my hand, your majesty, we’ll make our way there. Me: But if…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-my","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1410,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/10\/05\/help-an-old-lady-would-ya\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":0},"title":"Help an old lady, would ya?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 5, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: So, would you let a box of money in a truck drive away or help an old lady across the street? Grandboy (scoffs): Grandpa. I'd help the old lady. Me: Even if you knew you'd never get the money? Grandboy: Was it my money in the box? Me: Does\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":1},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1412,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/10\/18\/cars-making-doughnuts\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":2},"title":"Cars making doughnuts","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: What if a car made doughnuts? Me: Do you mean if you spun around in circles to do doughnuts in a car? Grandboy: No, like if you spun the car around and all of a sudden a real- life giant doughnut was on the ground. Me: Ha yep that\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1396,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/half-way-there-grandpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":3},"title":"Half way there, grandpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: I like this song. Grandboy: It's a nice song. Me: I first heard it when your momma was almost your age. Grandboy: Really? She was 8 years old? Me: No, she was like 12, I think. Grandboy (frowning): GRANDPA. That's not even CLOSE. Me: Ah. Just give it a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1426,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/youre-fired\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":4},"title":"You’re fired","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: The word, \"fire\" is an odd word. Grandboy: Why is that, grandpa? Me: Well, \"fire\" can burn something, and you can \"fire\" a weapon, and a boss can \"fire\" a person. Same word but they have different meanings. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: No, they come from the same thing. A\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1418,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/12\/14\/golly-stones\/","url_meta":{"origin":1398,"position":5},"title":"Golly stones","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 14, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, how did you get your golly stones? Me: My what? Grandboy: Your golly stones. You know, the ones that made you go to the hospital. Me: O you mean my gall stone. Grandboy: Yah your golly stones. How did you get them? Me: I don't know. 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