Grandboy (making a horrid noise while shouting about the outcome of a video game)<\/p>\n
Me: Oi boy, what’s all that noise you’re making? Shut that down NOW.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: AUGH THAT’S THE SOUND OF MY TEARS FALLING OUT OF ME<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (making a horrid noise while shouting about the outcome of a video game) Me: Oi boy, what’s all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-kf","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":865,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/20\/darkning\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":0},"title":"Darkning","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look, it's lightning there Me: Yep. What about the darkning? Grandboy: The darkning? What's the darkning? Me: The opposite of lightning. It takes light out of the sky and removes noise from the air. Grandboy: What?! That's only make believe. Me: Yes. I've never seen darkning. Grandboy: You\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":942,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/04\/27\/enough\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":1},"title":"ENOUGH","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (trying to hold a phone conversation) Grandboy (won't stop making noise) Mamasan (frustrated): ENOUGH! Grandboy: Hi, yes? Mamasan (to the person on the phone): Hold on. (To grandboy): What is it? Grandboy: I am Enough. Nice to meet you. I'm Enough. You said Enough, so here is Enough (puts\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1067,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/17\/extra-helping-of-guilt\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":2},"title":"Extra helping of guilt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Ok, I've ordered the food. It'll be here soon. Grandboy: Awww I'm hungry NOW. Make me some Gwumpa Oatmeal...! Me: No, food's on the way. Just wait please. Grandboy: HUNGRY NOW I want food. Oatmeal, pleeeeese gwumpa? Gwumpaaaa..... (this goes on for a while) Me (angrily calculating): Ok. Fine.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1047,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/01\/06\/screamolicious\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":3},"title":"SCREAMOlicious","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: WAAAAAGHWAAAAAGHWAAAAAYWUUGUGHUA Me: ! Grandboy: I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT I COULD MAKE THAT NOISE DID YOU GWUMPA!?!!!? Me (dons headphones without plugging them into anything): Ah somehow I suspected you were capable of it. Oi and stop practicing it. No, really.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":4},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":5},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1255"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1256,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255\/revisions\/1256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}