Grandboy (playing a game, and is frustrated): Grandpa, I can’t get this to work. The instructions say to press (x) but when I press (x) it doesn’t work!<\/p>\n
Me: That’s why I don’t play that glitchy game (Roblox). The instructions the developers give don’t always work. And many times the system crashes.<\/p>\n
Grandboy (giggling): Would YOU ever think of playing Roblox, Grandpa?<\/p>\n
Me: I’d rather debug someone else’s Excel macros.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Whoa Grandpa, that’s intense<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (playing a game, and is frustrated): Grandpa, I can’t get this to work. The instructions say to press…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-k3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1259,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/15\/pretend-your-life-depends-on-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":0},"title":"Pretend your life depends on it","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy and I were playing the \"Pretend Your Life Depends On It\" game this weekend... Grandboy (weakly stretching forward): Grandpa. I can't reach that toy car. Can you get it for me? Me: Nope, you get it. Pretend your life depends on it and you're by yourself. ... Grandboy (straining):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1391,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/not-cool-grandpa-its-sick\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":1},"title":"Not cool, grandpa, it’s sick","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing Forza Horizon and looking at cars to play): Oooo grandpa that car looks SICK Me: Ah I hope he feels better soon. Grandboy: Ya.. huh? Me: That car. I hope he gets better from the sickness. Grandboy: O no that means they're COOL. Not like (cough cough) sick.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1059,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/03\/isle-be-durned\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":2},"title":"Isle be durned","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (preparing to show me something on Roblox): Gwumpa stay here. Don't leave the room. I'm going to take you on a tour. Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: It's a... what? Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: No Gwumpa Me: Will the weather get rough?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":3},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1396,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/half-way-there-grandpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":4},"title":"Half way there, grandpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: I like this song. Grandboy: It's a nice song. Me: I first heard it when your momma was almost your age. Grandboy: Really? She was 8 years old? Me: No, she was like 12, I think. Grandboy (frowning): GRANDPA. That's not even CLOSE. Me: Ah. Just give it a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1499,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/02\/no-playing-in-the-bath\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":5},"title":"No playing in the bath","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 2, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (preparing to take a bath): Grandpa tonight I'm just taking a quick bath. No playing or anything. Me: Ok Grandboy: You know how sometimes I play in the bath. Me: Yep Grandboy: Just a quick one. Me: Yep Grandboy: Not playing so I can get out quickly. Me: Ok.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1243"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1244,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243\/revisions\/1244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}