{"id":1194,"date":"2018-11-25T19:06:31","date_gmt":"2018-11-26T01:06:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1194"},"modified":"2018-12-07T10:14:12","modified_gmt":"2018-12-07T16:14:12","slug":"im-the-president","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/25\/im-the-president\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;M THE PRESIDENT"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\n\nGrandboy (waving his hand in the air): I&#8217;M THE PRESIDENT. You must do what I SAY<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: No, actually we voted you into office. So you have to do what we ask you to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy: Wait, what? The president doesn&#8217;t have all the power?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me: All elected officials are here to represent us, not tell us how to live and what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandboy (mind blown): Oh, well then YOU can be president and I&#8217;ll tell you what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How quickly the path of power flows. I love the sound of liberty waking up\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy (waving his hand in the air): I&#8217;M THE PRESIDENT. You must do what I SAY Me: No, actually&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-jg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":0},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":954,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/06\/sturdy-trees-under-construction-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":1},"title":"Sturdy trees under construction here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad. Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that? Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I've redirected his arm) and say, \"Na na na na na\" (wiggling\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1043,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/02\/never-was-heard-an-encouraging-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":2},"title":"Never was heard an encouraging word","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look I'm on the roof. Me: Yes, I see. We both are. Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won't DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa? Me: You might. Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!! Me: Yep. Grandboy: Now I'm scared.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":858,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/12\/31\/shoot\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":3},"title":"Shoot","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 31, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa hey I like your 'vention. Does it shoot lasers? Like a BLUE laser or a RED laser? Me: Nope, no lasers. Grandboy: How 'bout bullets? Me: Nope, it doesn't shoot bullets. Grandboy: Well then what DOES it shoot? Me: Rabbits and squirrels and deer. Maybe bears if they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":4},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1456,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/06\/a-little-treet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1194,"position":5},"title":"A little TREEt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (as we're cutting down trees on Minecraft): Grandpa, tell me a Dad Joke Me: I WOOD if I knew any Grandboy: Ha that's a good one! Me (waving my axe in the air): But first I have to AXE this tree a question Grandboy: Aaugh grandpa Me (collecting the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1194"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1195,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1194\/revisions\/1195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}