\n\nGrandboy: GRANDPA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Hey why the shouting?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(The “mosquito” from earlier was actually a fly)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: He’s not hurting you, leave him be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Nooooo he’s bothering me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Is he bugging you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (looks sideways at me)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: He’s BUGGING you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (no change in expression)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: He’s BUGGING you because he’s a FLY.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (no change in expression)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: And you should leave him BEE????<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: ALL RIGHT GRANDPA JUST GET HIM ALREADY OK?!?!?\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Hey why the shouting? Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa. (The “mosquito” from earlier was actually a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-j3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1248,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/06\/11\/ears-to-you-ol-chum\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":0},"title":"Ears to you, ol’ chum","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (disembodied voice): HEY GRANDPA you can't find me Me (resisting the temptation to say, \"because I'm not looking\"): Are you under the table? Grandboy (giggling): No Me: Are you... (we go through a series of places where he's not) Grandboy: C'mon, grandpa, you have to actually GUESS. Me: Are\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1412,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/10\/18\/cars-making-doughnuts\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":1},"title":"Cars making doughnuts","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: What if a car made doughnuts? Me: Do you mean if you spun around in circles to do doughnuts in a car? Grandboy: No, like if you spun the car around and all of a sudden a real- life giant doughnut was on the ground. Me: Ha yep that\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1432,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/03\/07\/santa-claaaawwwsss\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":2},"title":"Santa CLAAAAWWWSSS","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: ...and THIS guy, his name is Claws, he fights off the bad guys with his huge CLAWS. When he's done there's nothing left. Me: Claus? Isn't he the guy who gives presents to good kids? Grandboy: O no grandpa, that's SANTA Claus. He's a different guy. Me: Maybe he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1418,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/12\/14\/golly-stones\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":3},"title":"Golly stones","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 14, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, how did you get your golly stones? Me: My what? Grandboy: Your golly stones. You know, the ones that made you go to the hospital. Me: O you mean my gall stone. Grandboy: Yah your golly stones. How did you get them? Me: I don't know. I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":4},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1416,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/11\/16\/quicksave-in-real-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1181,"position":5},"title":"Quicksave in real life?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 16, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Ooo he looks dangerous. Me: Hm. I'd hide for a bit and get your strength back. Grandboy: Good idea (he hides). Me: O he's a lot stronger than you. I'd head back to a safe place and do a quicksave. Grandboy: That's a good idea grandpa. 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