\n\nGrandboy: GRANDPA<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Yes sir. Why are you hollerin’?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: There’s a MOSQUITO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Well, get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: You don’t understand, it’s too FAAAAST<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Ah. You should have taken ninja training classes then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: I DIIID. I am a super ninja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Well then why aren’t you getting that mosquito?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Well if I used my super ninja tricks I’d (spins in a wide armed circle) destroy this tiny house and I’m thinking of you so (folds hands together) please can you get the mosquito please please please (blinky eyes)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—–<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ok so the kid doesn’t reveal his ninja skills but he unleashes the cute power pretty quickly, hehe\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Yes sir. Why are you hollerin’? Grandboy: There’s a MOSQUITO. Me: Well, get it. Grandboy: You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-j1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1181,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/11\/04\/time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":0},"title":"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: GRANDPA Me: Hey why the shouting? Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa. (The \"mosquito\" from earlier was actually a fly) Me: He's not hurting you, leave him be. Grandboy: Nooooo he's bothering me. Me: Is he bugging you? Grandboy (looks sideways at me) Me: He's BUGGING you.\u00a0 Grandboy (no change\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":850,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/26\/look-its-flip-wilson\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":1},"title":"Look, it’s Flip Wilson","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (with silent stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully leaps onto the sleeping form of his gwumpa in the morning): ... Me (with equally stealthy moves, deftly and powerfully flips the oncoming bundle of unknown off onto the floor): ... Grandboy stops pretending to be a ninja so he can pretend\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1424,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/ice-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":2},"title":"Ice cream?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Can I have some ice cream? Me: Nope. Can't have ice cream for breakfast. Grandboy: Awwwww. Please? Me: Nope. Grandboy: But when? Me: After lunch. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: Can we have some lunch now?","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/monkeys-and-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":3},"title":"Monkeys and cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Those people, they, they all driving cars. Me: Yep, they are all driving cars. Grandboy: Why they driving cars? Me:\u00a0 Dunno.\u00a0 Maybe they are getting food or going to work or seeing friends. Grandboy: Monkeys don't drive cars. Me: Nope.\u00a0 Monkeys don't drive cars.\u00a0 Why not? Grandboy: Cuz they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1236,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/06\/04\/honey-would-you-run-upstairs-please\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":4},"title":"Honey, would you run upstairs please?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 4, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (after snack-eating all evening during his visit): Grandpa I'm STILL hungry. Can I have a spoon of honey please? Me: Sure. But you have to run up and down the stairs 10 times. Up and back counts as one. Grandboy: WHAT??!? Me: How bad do you want the honey?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1059,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/03\/isle-be-durned\/","url_meta":{"origin":1179,"position":5},"title":"Isle be durned","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (preparing to show me something on Roblox): Gwumpa stay here. Don't leave the room. I'm going to take you on a tour. Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: It's a... what? Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: No Gwumpa Me: Will the weather get rough?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1179"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1180,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1179\/revisions\/1180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}