\n\nGrandboy: AUUUUGH DON’T DO WHAT I DID<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: What did you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy (wiping his face): I blew into this can of powdered candy. The powder comes out and all over EVERYTHING<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Heh I’ve done that before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Really? You’ve done something dumb before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: O yes I have. Don’t forget to wipe up that mess, boy.\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: AUUUUGH DON’T DO WHAT I DID Me: What did you do? Grandboy (wiping his face): I blew into…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-iL","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1379,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/10\/i-really-dont-hate-my-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":0},"title":"I really don’t hate my life","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (Sitting on the floor next to a toy aisle): Hrmph. Me: No. Grandboy: But I want a RYAN toyyyyyyy Me: This is not a discussion we're having. C'mon, I've got the toys I'm getting. Let's go. Grandboy: I'm not leaving without a RYAN TOY Me: Then you aren't leaving.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":1},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":865,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/20\/darkning\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":2},"title":"Darkning","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look, it's lightning there Me: Yep. What about the darkning? Grandboy: The darkning? What's the darkning? Me: The opposite of lightning. It takes light out of the sky and removes noise from the air. Grandboy: What?! That's only make believe. Me: Yes. I've never seen darkning. Grandboy: You\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":733,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/01\/09\/everyone-needs-jobs\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":3},"title":"Everyone needs jobs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, how you get this truck? Me: I got a job and got paid for doing work, then I paid for the truck. Grandboy: Everyone needs things. Me: Yep. Grandboy: Everyone needs jobs. Me: Yep if you can work, you should. It makes you stronger and you help people\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":751,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/14\/wheres-your-backup\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":4},"title":"Where’s your backup?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (in his car seat, yawning): Gwumpa why you take me to school in the dark? Momma doesn't take me to school in the dark. Me: Ah I have to get to work before momma, so I have to leave earlier. Grandboy: But why you work? Momma works. Me: I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":954,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/06\/sturdy-trees-under-construction-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":1163,"position":5},"title":"Sturdy trees under construction here","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad. Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that? Grandboy: At school. 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