\n\nGrandboy is upset at prayer time. I was firm on the, “no, you can’t have a slice of pizza now” position:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: Ok, you don’t want to thank God for anything today. That’s ok. Is there anything you’d like to ask Him for help with?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Well, that mama stays safe and has good dreams, and the puppies stay safe and have good dreams, and me too. (Cracks a grin) But the next part, you may not like it…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: O really, what’s that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Well I was going to say that you have bad dreams and the house gets destroyed, but that’s a bad prayer to ask for, so I pray you stay safe and have good dreams too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me (in my best “Princess Bride Grandpa” voice): Well, that does sound like a better one to pray for. I think you’ll sleep better too, knowing this house isn’t coming apart, huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandboy: Yes gwumpa but even if your house was destroyed I’d be ok, right? Cuz of my prayer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me: God works in mysterious ways, boy. I’d not push my luck.\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy is upset at prayer time. I was firm on the, “no, you can’t have a slice of pizza…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-it","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":919,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/04\/01\/god-as-dad\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":0},"title":"God as Dad","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy, interrupting me during prayers: What? God's YOUR dad? He makes stars and fish and stuff. Me: Well I have a dad here on Earth and a dad who is in heaven\u200b - God. And you do too. Grandboy (makes a face): My dad is bad. He breaks the law.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":885,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/23\/lessons-in-lost-vegas\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":1},"title":"Lessons in Lost Vegas","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we're lost. The phone's dead. The car phone charger isn't working. I don't recognise this part of town. I have to pee. Grandboy: Ok I'll behave. (they drive, continue to get lost, and start talking about what it would be like to spend the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1004,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/18\/driving-at-a-snails-pace\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":2},"title":"Driving at a snail’s pace","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there's a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks back): Ayep, sure is. Grandboy: He sure likes it back there. Me (driving): Ayep. Grandboy: Because you're a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around. Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":554,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/15\/breaking-bad-well-breaking-chairs-at-least\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":3},"title":"Breaking Bad. Well, breaking chairs, at least.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Me, to the grandboy: \"Ok, let's leave the pup out of your room tonight. He needs to guard the rest of the house.\" Grandboy: \"Awwwwee gwumpa he needs to sleep in here with me.\" Me: \"No, you'll be fine. He'll keep bad guys from coming through the front or back\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/7215827840_047d4efaca_b1.jpg?fit=600%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":706,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/26\/dont-touch-that-dont-even-look-at-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":4},"title":"Don’t touch that. Don’t even look at it.","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm teaching the grandboy life-savings skills today. Grandboy (holding something upside-down over his head): Lookit me! Look Gwumpa hey look look at me!) Me: AAAUGH quick put that down...! Don't touch that. Don't even look at it. Grandboy: What? That's momma's purse. Me: Yep if anything happens or anything is\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":891,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/11\/what-dreams-may-come\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":5},"title":"What dreams may come","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing Minecraft, with his character dressed as a fairy): I can make dreams come true! Me: But what if they are BAD dreams? --- I got THE LOOK. Why do I always get THE LOOK?","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1145"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1146,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions\/1146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}