Grandboy (playing a video game): What is that FLIPPIN’ zombie doing?!?!<\/p>\n
Me (in a dangerous rumbly voice): WHAT did you say, boy?<\/p>\n
Grandboy (realising the gravity of the situation): Oh, no Gwumpa I mean it’s really flipping over and over like cartwheels but forward, look Gwumpa look at the screen…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (playing a video game): What is that FLIPPIN’ zombie doing?!?! Me (in a dangerous rumbly voice): WHAT did…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-hF","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/monkeys-and-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":0},"title":"Monkeys and cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Those people, they, they all driving cars. Me: Yep, they are all driving cars. Grandboy: Why they driving cars? Me:\u00a0 Dunno.\u00a0 Maybe they are getting food or going to work or seeing friends. Grandboy: Monkeys don't drive cars. Me: Nope.\u00a0 Monkeys don't drive cars.\u00a0 Why not? Grandboy: Cuz they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/19\/its-nighttime\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":1},"title":"It’s NIGHTTIME","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin'? Me: Resting my head in the table. Grandboy: Why? Me: I'm just a little tired, that's all Grandboy (sounding like his mamasan): GWUMPA you need to REST. Your body needs REST. Go back to bed. Me: ... Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa, I can't believe I'm saying\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":806,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/09\/03\/drilling-lessons-into-ones-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":2},"title":"Drilling lessons into one’s life","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (shuffling in at daybreak): Gwumpa time to wake up Me: Still dark, boy Grandboy (lifting the blinds a little): I see sunlight out there Me: No sunlight in here. Come cuddle Grandboy (climbing all over me): When's the sun waking up all the way Gwumpa? Me: Tomorrow Grandboy (shocked):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1155,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/08\/18\/pizza-hugs\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":3},"title":"Pizza hugs","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Gwumpa, can you get me some pizza? Me: No, boy, you're big enough. Take a break and go get your own piece of pizza\u00a0 Grandboy: Awwww PLEEEEASE Me: Nope. Go get it. ... Grandboy: Gwumpa can you get (looks at my raised eyebrow)... me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1067,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/17\/extra-helping-of-guilt\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":4},"title":"Extra helping of guilt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Ok, I've ordered the food. It'll be here soon. Grandboy: Awww I'm hungry NOW. Make me some Gwumpa Oatmeal...! Me: No, food's on the way. Just wait please. Grandboy: HUNGRY NOW I want food. Oatmeal, pleeeeese gwumpa? Gwumpaaaa..... (this goes on for a while) Me (angrily calculating): Ok. Fine.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":894,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/27\/monster-mash\/","url_meta":{"origin":1095,"position":5},"title":"Monster Mash","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy got in trouble when he and another boy were punching each other in the cafeteria. The story, as relayed by mamasan: Other boy: Hey look, is that your mom over there? Grandboy: [looks \"over there\"] Other boy: [suckerpunch to the gut] Grandboy: [retaliatory strike] [punching continues for a bit,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1095"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1096,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095\/revisions\/1096"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}