Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin’?<\/p>\n
Me: Resting my head in the table.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Why?<\/p>\n
Me: I’m just a little tired, that’s all<\/p>\n
Grandboy (sounding like his mamasan): GWUMPA you need to REST. Your body needs REST. Go back to bed.<\/p>\n
Me: …<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s NIGHTTIME. The sun is down so let’s go to sleep. C’mon!<\/p>\n
Me (looking up at the window): Boy, it’s bright outside and 7:30 in the morning.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Use YOUR IMAGINATION<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin’? Me: Resting my head in the table. Grandboy: Why? Me: I’m just a little…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-hz","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":0},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":1},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":996,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/30\/hello-is-it-me-youre-looking-for\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":2},"title":"HELLO! IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR…?","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (making a sustained screeching sound) Me: OI HEY OI STOP THAT Grandboy: I can't help it Gwumpa Me: How 'bout, instead of screaming, you sing something. I'd like that better. So would everyone else. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa (later) Grandboy (singing, screechily) HELLO! IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FOR...? ----\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1004,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/18\/driving-at-a-snails-pace\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":3},"title":"Driving at a snail’s pace","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there's a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks back): Ayep, sure is. Grandboy: He sure likes it back there. Me (driving): Ayep. Grandboy: Because you're a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around. Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":858,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/12\/31\/shoot\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":4},"title":"Shoot","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 31, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa hey I like your 'vention. Does it shoot lasers? Like a BLUE laser or a RED laser? Me: Nope, no lasers. Grandboy: How 'bout bullets? Me: Nope, it doesn't shoot bullets. Grandboy: Well then what DOES it shoot? Me: Rabbits and squirrels and deer. Maybe bears if they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":804,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/08\/25\/gwumpa-joke-dad-joke-every-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":1089,"position":5},"title":"Gwumpa joke > Dad joke, every time","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey you know why this (points to a picture) is called a dinosaur? Grandboy: Why Gwumpa? Me: 'Cuz they're dead. See? DIEnosaur. Grandboy: Yah! They DIEnosaurs Me: And if they were still alive they'd be LIVEasaurs Grandboy: NO STAAAP","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1089"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1089\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1090,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1089\/revisions\/1090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}