Grandboy (ankle deep in mud, water hose spraying a rainbow into the air): BWAHAHAHAHA<\/p>\n
Me: …<\/p>\n
Grandboy (kicking a toy car out of the deep mudhole he created from the hose spray): AND THAT MY FRIEND IS THAT<\/p>\n
Me:…<\/p>\n
Grandboy (aiming the hose along the cement patio, splattering mud everywhere)<\/p>\n
Me: What are you doing?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: I’M THE KING OF THE OCEAN. I’M FLOODING THE TRI-STATE AREA<\/p>\n
Me: Ok king, but don’t forget to get your cars out of that hole. Once the mud dries, you aren’t going to find them again.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: YES THE KING HAS A GOOD ADVISOR. BWAHAHAHA (more rainbows fill the sky)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (ankle deep in mud, water hose spraying a rainbow into the air): BWAHAHAHAHA Me: … Grandboy (kicking a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-hv","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":998,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/30\/diplomacy-taught\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":0},"title":"Diplomacy taught","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: I'm the king of this land Me: Ah I see. How do you treat your people? Grandboy: I am STRONG. If they don't do what I say I lock them UP. Maybe forever. And punish them. Me: That sounds like a bad king. I'll have to stop you if\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1043,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/02\/never-was-heard-an-encouraging-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":1},"title":"Never was heard an encouraging word","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look I'm on the roof. Me: Yes, I see. We both are. Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won't DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa? Me: You might. Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!! Me: Yep. Grandboy: Now I'm scared.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":2},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/11\/the-best-grandpa-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":3},"title":"The best grandpa EVER","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: \"...boss baby.\" Me: Would you like to be a boss baby? Grandboy: No. Me: Why not? Grandboy: Why do you always ask me things? AAUGH that's like me asking me your deepest darkest secret. Me: Ok. Grandboy: So... What IS your deepest darkest secret? Me: That I have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1497,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/01\/02\/annoying-parrot\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":4},"title":"Annoying Parrot","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 2, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP Me: What are you doing? Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP Me (stares in Texan): ... Grandboy: I'm being an annoying parrot Me: You're doing a surprisingly good job. Grandboy: You're doing a surprisingly good job. Me: Huh? Grandboy: Huh? Me (catching on): I said nothing.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1196,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/12\/05\/hope-you-enjoy-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1085,"position":5},"title":"Hope it doesn’t hurt","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa, you'll live a long time.\u00a0 Me: I hope so. Grandboy: But when you DO die, it won't hurt, will it? Me: I don't know. Grandboy: WHAT?!? YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HURT???!!? Me: Yep. Depends on how it happens. I might get in a car crash. Or just\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1085"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1086,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1085\/revisions\/1086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}