{"id":1083,"date":"2018-05-05T14:09:10","date_gmt":"2018-05-05T19:09:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1083"},"modified":"2018-06-10T13:12:49","modified_gmt":"2018-06-10T18:12:49","slug":"mega-stomp-panic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/05\/mega-stomp-panic\/","title":{"rendered":"Mega Stomp Panic"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: Gwumpa that&#8217;s cool. I wanna try.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Ok, wait a minute.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Hey that&#8217;s like a giant robot. I wanna try, Gwumpa<\/p>\n<p>Me: Watch what happens when I JUMP<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: AAAUGH that&#8217;s COOL GWUMPA I WANNA TRY PLEASE<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>Thanks Thinkgeek.com. Now he will get exercise for hours, and I know where he&#8217;s at at all times. I should have bought more Mega Stomp Panics!<\/p>\n<p><iframe width=\"940\" height=\"529\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/osi5EKRC0Eg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandboy: Gwumpa that&#8217;s cool. I wanna try. Me: Ok, wait a minute. Grandboy: Hey that&#8217;s like a giant robot.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-ht","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1259,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/07\/15\/pretend-your-life-depends-on-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":0},"title":"Pretend your life depends on it","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy and I were playing the \"Pretend Your Life Depends On It\" game this weekend... Grandboy (weakly stretching forward): Grandpa. I can't reach that toy car. Can you get it for me? Me: Nope, you get it. Pretend your life depends on it and you're by yourself. ... Grandboy (straining):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":913,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/17\/refrigerator-is-cool\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":1},"title":"Refrigerator is cool","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey come on in and see something cool Grandboy: Is it a new GAME? Me: Nope Grandboy: Is it a new PUPPY? Me: Nope Grandboy: I know it's a BASEBALL BAT! Me: Nope Grandboy (exasperated): Auuugh gwumpa what is it?!? Me: It's a new refrigerator Grandboy: That's not cool...\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/IMG_20170205_155621.jpg?fit=845%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":911,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/02\/18\/cool-like-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":2},"title":"Cool like Gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Hey gwumpa I see you changed your gamertag picture. Show me how to change mine please. Me: Sure (shows him how) Grandboy: Oh WOW! THESE ARE COOL PICTURES TO CHOOSE FROM Me: Yep, pic any one you want Grandboy: So, why you not choose a cool one for yours?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":3},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":756,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/03\/not-funny-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":4},"title":"NOT FUNNY GWUMPA","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Hey don't walk on the floor. It's mopped and very slippery. Grandboy: Look I can walk on the floor (hops) and I can dance on the floor, Gwumpa (spins) Me: O now look, you can fall on the floor, too. Cool trick. Grandboy (picking himself up): That's NOT FUNNY\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1083,"position":5},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1083"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1084,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083\/revisions\/1084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}