Grandboy (holding up an old watch he found in the truck’s center console bin): Hey Gwumpa does this watch still work?<\/p>\n
Me (looking over at the watch, noticing the second hand isn’t moving): No, it’s stopped. I think it needs a new battery.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Oh! Can I have it?<\/p>\n
Me (thinking, “Awwww he wants to be like his grandpa”): Sure, will you take care of it?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Well, I wanted to crush it to see what would happen.<\/p>\n
—-<\/p>\n
Ok so maybe he’s a little more like me than I thought he’d be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (holding up an old watch he found in the truck’s center console bin): Hey Gwumpa does this watch…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-hj","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1071,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/04\/02\/theres-an-app-for-that\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":0},"title":"There’s an app for that","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(We watch an advert for a phone app that scans one's surroundings to warn if one is going to trip over something) Grandboy: Wow that's a cool idea. Me: I have an app that works even better than that. Want to see it? Grandboy: SURE Me (pull out my phone):\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1083,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/05\/mega-stomp-panic\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":1},"title":"Mega Stomp Panic","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa that's cool. I wanna try. Me: Ok, wait a minute. Grandboy: Hey that's like a giant robot. I wanna try, Gwumpa Me: Watch what happens when I JUMP Grandboy: AAAUGH that's COOL GWUMPA I WANNA TRY PLEASE --- Thanks Thinkgeek.com. Now he will get exercise for hours, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/osi5EKRC0Eg\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1171,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/10\/13\/the-queen-and-her-bicycle\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":2},"title":"The Queen and her Bicycle","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(music. music on truck speakers) Grandboy: What's that song, grandpa? Me: O that's \"Bicycle\" by Queen. Grandboy: THE QUEEN sings songs? Me (laughing): No, that's the name of the group. It's not the Queen singing. Grandboy: Good. She's too fancy for that kinda music. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xt0V0_1MS0Q","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/xt0V0_1MS0Q\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1169,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/10\/13\/six-thousand-evil-clowns\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":3},"title":"Six thousand evil clowns","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(music. music on truck speakers) Grandboy: Grandpa who's that singing? Me: It's a group called, \"Journey\". Grandboy: It sounds like evil clowns. Me (laughing): Evil clowns? Grandboy: Six thousand of them. --- One of the most harshest of critiques I've heard to date https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MxGEVIvSFeY","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/MxGEVIvSFeY\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":753,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/10\/living-in-the-stone-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":4},"title":"Living in the stone age","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a game): Oh [bleep] Me: What? Grandboy: I said, 'Oh [bleep]\" Me: That's what I thought I heard. Don't be saying that. Grandboy: Oh that's right Gwumpa. Little kids can't say [bleep] only grown-ups can say [bleep]. Me: No one should be saying that. Please stop. Grandboy: Ok\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/FQ5YU_spBw0\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1173,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/10\/13\/ultraviolent-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":1073,"position":5},"title":"Ultraviolent Cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(music. music on truck speakers) Grandboy: Grandpa who's that singing that song? Me: It's a group called \"The Cars\". Grandboy: Are the called \"The Cars\" because the sing in cars? Me: No, that's just a name they liked, so they are called \"The Cars\". Grandboy: That's too bad. I like\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/Ki6xHnDAwHw\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1073"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1074,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073\/revisions\/1074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1073"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1073"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1073"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}