(We watch an advert for a phone app that scans one’s surroundings to warn if one is going to trip over something)<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Wow that’s a cool idea.<\/p>\n
Me: I have an app that works even better than that. Want to see it?<\/p>\n
Grandboy: SURE<\/p>\n
Me (pull out my phone): Watch carefully. (Open the screen)<\/p>\n
Grandboy (leans over): Let me see.<\/p>\n
Me (push button to close the screen): It’s called the “Put yer phone in yer pocket when walking” app.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Ahhhhh I get it.<\/p>\n
Me: And your phone doesn’t even have to be on when you use it. That’s what makes it better than the one we just saw. Nothing’s so important that you have to be moving while you’re reading your phone.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: You should tell people.<\/p>\n
Me: I might just do that, boy…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(We watch an advert for a phone app that scans one’s surroundings to warn if one is going to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-hh","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":760,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/01\/throw-yer-legs-in-the-air-and-wave-em-like-you-just-dont-care\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":0},"title":"Throw yer legs in the air, and wave ’em like you just don’t care","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 1, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (laying on his back on the kitchen chair): Gwumpa you do this (kicks his legs in the air) Me: No thank you. Grandboy: You really should try it Gwumpa (kicks one leg up again) Me: No thank you I don't want to be laying on my back on the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":942,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/04\/27\/enough\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":1},"title":"ENOUGH","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mamasan (trying to hold a phone conversation) Grandboy (won't stop making noise) Mamasan (frustrated): ENOUGH! Grandboy: Hi, yes? Mamasan (to the person on the phone): Hold on. (To grandboy): What is it? Grandboy: I am Enough. Nice to meet you. I'm Enough. You said Enough, so here is Enough (puts\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":894,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/27\/monster-mash\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":2},"title":"Monster Mash","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy got in trouble when he and another boy were punching each other in the cafeteria. The story, as relayed by mamasan: Other boy: Hey look, is that your mom over there? Grandboy: [looks \"over there\"] Other boy: [suckerpunch to the gut] Grandboy: [retaliatory strike] [punching continues for a bit,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":885,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/23\/lessons-in-lost-vegas\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":3},"title":"Lessons in Lost Vegas","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Manasan (driving in rush-hour traffic): Boy, we're lost. The phone's dead. The car phone charger isn't working. I don't recognise this part of town. I have to pee. Grandboy: Ok I'll behave. (they drive, continue to get lost, and start talking about what it would be like to spend the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":800,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/08\/16\/sast\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":4},"title":"SAST","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (looking over my shoulder as I am on my smartphone):Gwumpa wat game you playin? Me: No game. Look. Grandboy (nodding sagely): OOOH that's because you're OLK and OLK people don't do fun things. Only little KIDS play games on phones. Me (still reading): Yep, that's how it works. Grandboy:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1071,"position":5},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1071"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1072,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071\/revisions\/1072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}