Grandboy: Gwumpa hold on. Please wait. I have something in my shoe.<\/p>\n
Me: It’s probably your foot.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: AAAAUUGH<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: Gwumpa hold on. Please wait. I have something in my shoe. Me: It’s probably your foot. Grandboy: AAAAUUGH<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s62ahB-footie","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1398,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2019\/08\/31\/take-my-hand-please\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":0},"title":"Take my hand, please","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Lady on video game: If you'll take my hand, your majesty, we'll make our way there. Me: But if he takes her hand, she'll have only one left. Grandboy (puzzled): Huh? (gets the dad joke) Ah grandpa that's just something people say when they mean, \"Come hold my hand\". Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1059,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/03\/isle-be-durned\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":1},"title":"Isle be durned","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (preparing to show me something on Roblox): Gwumpa stay here. Don't leave the room. I'm going to take you on a tour. Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: It's a... what? Me: Is it a three hour tour? Grandboy: No Gwumpa Me: Will the weather get rough?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":704,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/11\/25\/not-a-good-plan-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":2},"title":"Not a good plan, Gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: I can have cookie? I'll ask mom. Me: No, you got in trouble. You don't ask for special treats after you get in trouble. Grandboy: Well, what I do then? Me: You wait. And don't go asking mom for a cookie. Please wait til your mom offers you one.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/11\/26\/some-light-reading\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":3},"title":"Some light reading","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game): Look, my guy is in a lighthouse. Me: That's pretty cool, having a house you can pick up. Grandboy: Huh? Me: Because your house is very light. It's a LIGHT house. Grandboy: O no grandpa, it's a house that MAKES light. It's too heavy to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1061,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/04\/i-scream\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":4},"title":"I scream","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (eating ice cream in a cone): Yum. Me: Why is it called, 'Ice Cream'? Grandboy: Cuz it's cold. Like ice. And it's got CREAM. Me: So it should be called, 'Creamy Ice'. Grandboy: YAH Gwumpa I'll call it 'Creamy Ice' from now on. (pretends to be ordering food) Hello\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":745,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/17\/o-the-consequences-of-our-choices\/","url_meta":{"origin":1069,"position":5},"title":"O the consequences of our choices…","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 17, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (waiting for corndogs in the microwave, and frustrated, arms crossed): Hmph. Gwumpa YOU eating cereal and I'M not eating. Me: Yes, you said you wanted corndogs for breakfast. You have to wait for them to warm up. Grandboy: But I have to wait. (Stomps foot) That's not FAIR. 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